NAITAK ANG AKING PAA WHAT THE HECK! but im still living the dream!

Ohhhhhhhhhhkayyyyyeeee. I'm fine. Don't worry. Imagine me sitting all well and fine in a computer shop healthy and happy as can be, cause thats what I am. I am totally fine now :D ok but last tuesday it was not all fine fine. haha you'll never believe what I did to myself! I hacked my foot with a machete! ya! hacked my form of transportion!  it was awesome! Ok stooooorrrryyyy timeeee:

It was a beautiful Tuesday morning, oh wait it actually was a downpour. So it was raining so dang hard but we had a service project at Sister Shirley's house clearing out weeds and grass so she can plant stuff. Our whole district was there helping out doo de doo, I was just going at it with my hands. I was ripping and tearing stuff and trying to suck in the tears cause it was so thorny and my hands were getting cut up.....but Shirley needs to plant some camoteng kahoy I've got to do this! haha it killed. So then I thought it would be more effective for everyone if I just used one of the itaks (machetes) and so I did. All was going well, my hands were thanking me, and I was chopping very nice. thunk thunk thunk THUNK I totally hit my foot right where my toe grows. I look down and didn't even recognize the scene cause there was blood gushing out everywhere into the grass around me. I just looked down and didn't even freak out, say anything, or move. I just looked at it and thought "Darn. thats my foot I guess..." (I swear the mission has stolen every ounce of reaction from me...nothing phases me anymore.) Good thing my fellow missionaries were more concerned than I was, Sis B held my toe to my foot as I hobbled to sit down. Thank goodness our astig na zone leader brought a first aid kit that morning...not planning to but he had a prompting to. I had my foot right there on Shirley's table and the elders poured cleansing stuff on it and wrapped it up. masaKIT INA KO!!!!! I can't believe I survived. I can totally give birth now. HAHA JOKE.

Anyways so I just kinda chilled there until we made our way home after the csp where I called Sis Reeder and said "oh ya...my food kinda got chopped", which rushed me to Naga asap to get sewn up. It was quite splendid I got to look at my city once again. We went to good ol Mother Setton, I hobbled in there on a bloody stub (over dramatic) and was at once looked at and helped by the most beautiful gay man who looks like a woman ever. He/she was so kind. I just laid down right there, someone came and double injected me in my arms (IHUIFHUIJCEIODJSHIR) and at the same time I was getting anesthesia in my foot in multiple places so the beautiful man could sew me up. I just screamed silently and grabbed my hair. It killed. Anyways I hobbled outta there on one foot, stitches in and antibiotics to last forever! WHOOHOOO I'M A SURVIVOR!!! it hurt soooooooo baaaaadddddddd mommmmyyyyyyyyy. i'm ok.

The next day I demanded that we work, even though I wasn't supposed to walk on it, TOO BAD FOLKS there are people to visit and gospel to share.  I oym-ed like crazy. we went on splits with the ward missionaries to cover the day we lost on Tuesday from being in the hospital. I just sorta hobbled around, took some pills. kept going. All week I've been changing the gauze and stuff, there's no time to think about it. Sis Hoops offered to take out the stitches when I go in for mlc tomorrow.....I don't think she's very gentle......I mean she wears glasses so how well can we even trust her to see straight (NO OFFENSE to all my four-eyes out there.just saying).

So lets talk people. Ok meet john carl, the sweetest kid i've ever met. He is about 12 years old but is so thin and malnourished you'd think he's 7. And skinny for a 7 year old. His mom isn't there and his dad is at work before he wakes up till after he goes to bed. He washes all his clothes, cooks, cleans, everything in his little hut and is so diligent in reading the Book of Mormon. He would be baptized by now but his dad (less active) says he will get sick if he goes out of the house to church. I sense an iceberg there....anyways to make our lessons more interesting I brought my Book of Mormon stories in Tagalog book with pictures for our Book of Mormon reading. He was so excited and could hardly keep the flashlight on the picture we were on cause he kept going from next to next. We just sat on our boulder and read with sweet little john carl. At the end I couldn't help but give him my book he just loved it so much, and he was so sweet about it. I cried once again in his closing prayer as he thanked God for food and for not leaving him. </3

We have the coolest new investigator! Sister Gain beautiful beautiful! we found her because her gma wants her to be taught to have better friends, she transfered schools because of bad influences. We went to visit her (wait is this the one I told you? did I already tell you about her cottage and fish pond and stuff?) and she is totally receptive and so willing to learn. we had 3 sisters work with us and it was perfect cause she had immediate friends. the best part is she CAME TO CHURCH YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA she totally came. Inside. Ya. I could scream I was so happy. her fellowshippers did such a good job of escorting her around all day and I was so so happy.

Ok so so much more. So much. but i guess i'll just write one more. Yesterday we fasted for nanay merenia and brother gary to be strong and good examples to the rest of their family that aren't members and fasted for their hearts to be softened. Included in my fast was also the question of what I need to be doing better or where am I lacking. In the 3rd hour of church sort of half listening through a Bicol lesson on the temple I got teary and felt the spirit. I had this thought "you are living your dream". BAM! the Spirit strikes again! I reflected on that sentence in my brain, I am living my dream. I am living in it. Yes, I really am. This is the dream I've had when I imagined myself as a missionary, and the dream that I will have to reflect on for the rest of forever. I know that time is going to be gone before I know it cause i don't even have time to think straight, and so the prompting to soak it all in, live the dream, came to me. I'm going to slow down, notice all the little good, and try and enjoy every last bit of this thing called a mission that is going to turn into just memories soon. I don't want it to end, I don't want to wake up, so I'm just going to keep dreaming the next 3 months and giving it my all. This week I hit 15 months....maybe the hardest 15 months put together I've ever experienced, and its ironic that I have this much love for something this hard. Ironic that I call it a dream when at times it is so hard and dark like a nightmare. I can't even total up the growth I've made these past 15 months and am just so humbled and grateful to be where I am.

Thanks for the prayers, I am fine once again don't worry about my foot its in good working order! Fine as can be. It's week 6, idk if sis b is getting transferred or not or whats happening to my sisters. Anyways family I love you so so much and you are always in my prayers.

LOVE SIS MCGRATH

the winds and the waves shall obey thy will..............

Dang it I have spent all my time emailing President. There's been a lot to report! This week was so busy- we had 2 exchanges and have been traveling and guiding and listening and helping and the lack of sleep is ever so evident on my face!!! eeeeeeehhhh!!!!

This week has also had a way of sending all the trials it could at one time....that's so funny how that happens, its never just one challenge at a time but usually multiple punches. I don't have time to update you on all of them, but this week has brought me to my knees more than ever. Every single day this week i have said a teary prayer pleading to give me the strength to open my eyes and make it though the next hour. It is such a miracle when I hit the cot way after I should have been sleeping and just close my eyes and thank the Lord that I survived the day. After some mild problems with the comp, the ward, and other missionaries, I can say I'm making my way through slowly but surely!

This week I split with 4 sisters, it was the best!! I can't write everything ahh it kills me! Sis P is the sweetest thing and so positive and brave! she is amazing! Sis N is incredible as well and I just wish I could have her parents tune in and see the incredible things their daughter does every day. They would be so proud. Sis P is the sweetest purest heart and has incredible patience. And finally Sis H- this is her 2nd transfer in the mish and she has been having the hardest time imaginable. In our evaluation after exchanges, we ended up staying and talking for more than an hour and went to bed way past 12. As she told me everything thats going on and all of the hard things she's going through, she broke down and cried. For more than an hour she cried and I just stayed by her side with and arm around her and listened. She said that last week she was about to give up, as in totally quit and go home, but then at our zone conference (president shared to us "becoming a consecrated missionary" talk by tad r callister, its a life changer and i highly highly recommend it to all missionaries) she felt like that isn't what God wanted. As she cried the Spirit was so strong in me and I felt lifted beyond myself. I told her lots and lots of things that I know didn't come from me directly, I felt such a strong love for her and told her how much Heavenly Father needs her here. Lots more was said, tears were shed from both of us, and I said a very fervent prayer for her at the end of our talk. At the end she said thank you, "I feel like I just got to talk to my mom". Her comment struck me and the gratitude and love I had for her filled my whole soul and took away every ache and weary pain in my poor tired self. This week was so tiring but I'd hands down do it all again just to hear those words and have the Spirit speak through me again. keep my sisters in your prayers!!!

After feeling like I've been whipped around all over the place this week and been through a crazy storm, I remember what a strong feeling of peace I had when I woke up on Sunday morning. Actually this week it has been a literal crazy storm, its been raining so hard and so windy (i even broke out the cardigan people :O) and on Saturday night after mine and Sis H's long talk I said what felt like an even longer prayer. There are so many things i need to pray for!  I need so much help and others to too! I prayed it out on sore knees and also thanked Heavenly Father for Jesus Christ. As I prayed I thought about His atonement, and the chance I had to partake of the sacrament the next day. My eyes swelled with tears all over again for gratitude and love for my Savior. I can't explain it all well enough in a dinky email.

When I woke up on Sunday morning I just laid there and it was calm. It had stopped raining like it had been all night, and it was quiet. I was the first one up, and I just had peace spoken deep to my bones. I felt that what I was doing was good, and it was enough, and I imagined Jesus smiling down on me. I know its so simple, but that picture in my head and feeling I can't describe. It was a very peter-like moment hearing "wherefore didst thou doubt?" I felt lifted up, back on the boat, and filled with peace. I know that God gives me strength to do this work and that I need it every hour of every day. I know He loves His children, I know He loves Sis P and Sis H and Sis N and Sis P and Sis B and me. I know He loves me. I am so grateful that I can use the atonement every day, and even though the days are so hard, they string together to make the most beautiful thing I could ever obtain.

That's all I can write this week, I wish I could have another hour to pour out even more to you. Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray for me and for all the other missionaries because so many are struggling and having such a hard time.

Love SIS MCGRATH

I CAN'T I JUST CAN'T. This is the son of that monster Sis N and 

I burned....I call him Montoya Jr because of his never-ending 

revenge towards the murderers of his father...ahem ahem US. 

The Best Busy Life Ever!

.........and the whale breeches for air once again!!!!

WHOOW. the days are so. exhausting. its putting me through the wringer. (i wish we had a "wringer" instead of our hands...that would really be useful) i honestly dont know what my body is still running on but its gotta be prayers and love cause no amount of rice could even keep me going! its the best feeling in all the WORLD!!!! ohhhh i love love love working. GO GO GO!!!!

alright let me break you down a beat- this week we were going to teach and got punted but this other lady was just looking like she wanted to be oym-ed (ha ha everyone looks like they want to be oymed in my eyes) and we ended up getting to talk to her on her floor. she told us right up front that she does NOT want to be baptized and will not leave her church, again and again. ok, got it. then she opened up to us about all of her problems in life and most of them coming from her marriage....so sad :( she has the most rotten relationship with her husband it made me feel so bad for this poor lady :( after about an hour of letting everything go to us, the ball was in our court. uhhhh. how does one even begin to respond? i've got no professional training in counseling or anything....i was really wishing the section "the gospel blesses families" section in PMG was more than one wimpy paragraph. but alas, thats not my job, i don't have to fix everything. even though she couldn't leave her church and wasn't interested, she's still a child of God going through a hard time. The Spirit told me to share a verse and we did our best to lift and comfort her. life deals such a hard lot to so many it makes me cry almost every other night if i think about it :(

shes serving in cauaian mission!! she used to work with 

us in goa 2 and now she just got her mish call!

MY FIRST EXCHANGES!!!!! oh ya!!!!! so so much good!! i love exchanges!! so since i'm the only STL and there are 2 sisters in a companionship, i split with the senior in the morning and the junior in the afternoon/night work then have a separate evaluation with each of them afterwards. my first was with sister b, the sweetest sister ever in the batch right before me. she's kiribati!!! i love kiribati missionaries!!!! we had such a good time. we went to the market and bought and fried fish for lunch like true ppinas. #marunog.

In the afternoon i worked with sister moreno who is a visa waiter, truly heading to san diego california!!! home of the district!!! and you'll never believe.......as we were sitting on the stools teaching someone the travel agency called her and she had to excuse herself (ok the weirdest feeling in the world is to teach alone....like...it is so not meant to be... it was the awkwardest feeling as i finished the lesson alone and kept on teaching with no comp......don't try it!!!!) anyways she is leaving THIS TUESDAY for cali! this was her last exchange in the ppines!!! and the coolest part of it was that she is the great great granddaughter of MY first stls i exchanged with sis rosenberg!! (sis rosenberg trained sis prestosa who trained sis baird who trained sis moreno who i exchanged with. guess i'm old in the mission huh? exchanging with the great granddaughter of my first stl)

The best part by far was evaluations afterwards. i got to tell sis m how amazing she is and what a wonderful impact she is going to make in cali. and i told her all about the wonders of target and told her to enjoy it for me. i so want to go find her and visit her when i get home! when i talked with sis b, i could just tell she was about to erupt. she did, and we just sat on the bedside and she cried and cried. she is feeling so inadequate, and with the sudden news of sis m leaving she's got the whole area in her hands and has only been there 4 weeks, and i'm sure lots of other discouraging thoughts. she cried and i just gave her tissues and told her its all going to be fine and gave her my testimony that she can do it and she is needed and all other things that the Spirit told me to say. oh i love talking to sisters and i love being able to help them in a very real way! missionary work isn't just about lifting those outside but even those right by your side!

look at this animal i found. hinawakan ko sya :D

this week has been so so busy, we have been working so hard! guess what we reached 40 oyms! not just lame oyms, every one was real legit and consisted of us teaching a gospel principle and asking an inspired question etc etc! i love to oym! even when i don't and i'm not in the mood i swallow my pride and jump again "Hi i'm sister mcgrath from the church of.............." and start again. i don't want any opportunities pass me by.

HAAAALELUIAAAAA

look at this palayan. feast your eyes.

this week i had such a beautiful testimony that this is MY mission, that i am called here, now, for a reason. we were just walking and exploring trying to find a referral, and we were climbing over rocks and crossing a bamboo bridge skinnier than my arm and there were rice terraces and blue sky and mountains so clear right before us. there were ducks and dogs and my feet hit nothing but damp dirt the good Lord made all day. we passed by tiny homes and kids and people yell out stuff at me but i don't even care, it doesn't even hit me that they are talking to me when they say american or white person or whatever.....i don't know what you guys are looking at i'm ppina. i just felt like i belonged there in that scene so much and feel like this place is what i've always dreamed my mission would be. there's nothing to hold me back, i can just be fearless and soar and approach anyone and sit down and tell them our purpose and that God has a plan for them and all of these other wonderful truths. AHH I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! life is the sweetest thing, it's so simple and so beautiful. and there is so much work to do! so much gospel that needs hearing! every ear! its the best work in all the world and i treasure this time so much. i love this place.

love it here.

General Conference was so amazing. i'm not going to give you my comprehensive chicken scratches on it though....you know how missionaries are....we need it more than air.....i was on the edge of my seat all conference and eating it up! too bad some elders were missing out dozing off behind us.....too bad. i had 3 questions before and all of them were answered perfectly. its just so amazing! i can't wait for the liahona!

I love you all so much and am so grateful for the prayers and love! keep it comin please i need the strength to keep me going from day to day until there are no more days in this mission!

Love SIS MCGRATH

did i tell you the green is a different hue here?

coming up for air!

WHOOW and i EMERGE from the rice fields again for another report! WHoow! coming up for air!!! this area is so insanely busy and i am so so grateful to have my back and feet aching :) its such a good life. alright this week seems like an eternity long so lets hash this thing up:

MISSION LEADERSHIP COUNCIL: ooh ya baby. I'm playing with the big boys now! I get my own spot in the mlc and it's awesome :D except for the fact that i was LATE once AGAIN.....I'm eternally destined to be late when I'm the chorister and when president is present!  This is the 4th time I have been chorister AND been late and had to have an emergency replacement all while president was there....why. Seriously I CANT be on time when I'm chorister. It's amazing president has any ounce of trust in me and doesn't think that I'm just late for every appointment and study ever. I promise its only when I'm chorister..... anyways mlc turns out to just be a lot of graphs and charts and numbers and elders talking lows and highs and goals......but the discussion was cool and the talk by president about having the courage to correct other missionaries was sweet. can't wait for the next one!

TEACH IT TEACH IT TEACH IT REAL GOOD: yep its go go go teach teach teach. I still don't know quite how to summarize my days in my journal let alone here...basta we are just teaching and working out things like MARRIAGE cause no one in the world thinks it's a good use of money to get legally married to the father of your children when there's holes in your roof and all other sorts of hadlangs (blocks? barriers? whats hadlang in english?!) from baptism. I'm just so happy to teach! yipeeee!!! we got to teach 10 lessons in one day!!! no way!!! I just can't wait to go outside every morning.

DREAMS: my dreams have been vivid as ever. one morning i woke up 6:25, saw i had 5 more mins and went back to bed only to tell everyone in my dream "babasahin nyo po ba ang aklat ni mormon? ipagdarasal nyo sya para malaman kung totoo ang lahat na bla blah blahhhhhh" just committing them to read the book of mormon and pray about it and inviting them to church and every other commitment......until when I rolled over at 6:30 I started my prayer asking to help them keep their commitments and read and ....wait these aren't even real investigators......I apologized and started my prayer over again. haha its just 24/7 FOLKS even my dreams I cant stop. Its been like that all week, teaching committing helping LAHAT in my dreams.

REALITY: then I wake up from my dreams and make it real. This week I was so inspired by our mlc and other stuff I read in the scriptures that I've been on OYM FIRE!!! open yo' mouth!!!! Seriously I've just been raising my voice above trycee motors to try and pipe out that their family can be together forever and can we come share and going up to groups of people and stopping nanays on the street and just telling the WORLD that they need this. Whatever to what anyone thinks of me, at least I know Jesus is smiling!

Also I guess in the reality section is the part of my life where I met the most terrible spider straight from impernio. But I wasn't even the one who screamed the loudest! And instead came up with the best plan ever to burn it with flames hotter than the ones from hell where he came. Me and Sis Nelson doused it in bleach then lit it on fire. Pictures ensued. I am just really so proud of myself for overcoming my fear and for slaying the beast. Here I attached a picture: isn't this the BIGGEST THING YOUVE EVER SEEN!?!?! HE EVEN HAS RED EYE PROBLEMS WITH FLASH HE'S THAT BIG!!!!  can't get over that we breathe the same air.

ITS HEAVEN!!!!: Ok this was by far the sweetest part of my week. Oh I could just cry all over again! We went to church yesterday and ward 2 was getting out and we were just starting....I got to see all of my wardiesss!!!!! all of my beloved ward 2!!!!! It was seriously the greatest thing!!! One sister would come out followed by another and another and all of these familiar faces and I just hugged them all! ESPECIALLY the youth!!!! I saw sister loleth!!! I saw francia!!! I saw these people I've walked and sacrificed for there at church!!! I saw soon to be Sister Baer who was using my bag I gave her from my first area and she ran up and told me she gets her mission call next week!!! I saw so so many faces!!! But the best of all : dun dun dun duuuuuN!!!!!! Sister Mayan comes out and exclaims "sisteeerrrr!!!' as she comes to me holding her son.  She runs up and tells me that she and her husband are getting SEALED IN THE TEMPLE this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My eyes swelled with tears and I couldn't take it anymore--i just let it flow!! I hugged sister and told her how excited and happy I was for her!! I remember challenging her to make the temple a goal and gave her a picture of the manila temple, I remember it seemed so far away back then and so much that they needed to do before.....and now here they were! She and her husband and they were doing it!!! I taught this lady once or twice a week and just love her so much. Their oldest daughter walked out from their house and drowned in this huge canal when she was 3 yrs old :( I just remember sister telling us through tears how badly she wanted to be sealed as a family, to her baby girl and to her two other babies here on earth and her husband. The tears just kept flowing, Sister Mayan was crying too. We were just so happy!!!! This has GOT to be what heaven feels like!!! I asked about how her sister in law was doing that lives near by and that we also challenged to go to the temple and pay tithing and stuff... sad news, she's not doing good :( hasn't been to church in a long time and her husband has word of wisdom problems again :( that brought fresh tears all over again, these ones now of sorrow :( it hurts! its gotta hurt so bad when we get to heaven someday and realize that some aren't there. But it is still so joyful to see the ones who will be. Oh it is just the sweetest experience to go back...someday I hope I can come back again over mountain or plain or sea and fly here to see all my people again!

Ok thats a summary of the week- more stuff I left out I wish I could just copy and paste my memories here!!! If only it was that easy!! basta! have a great week to you all and I'm so grateful for your prayers and love and support. I love you!!

mahal kita,
sis mcgrath

I'm home!!!

on the rooftop in the mission home! they are
moving mission homes this saturday! bye bye!

I'M BACK. I'm back in Goa!!! its been the weirdest week of my life, its like going back to a dream!

awkward bishop photos

When we pulled in last Monday night I eeked and was jumping in my seat cause I saw the toron lady and la purisima street and the smelly fish port and ukay ukays and nanays and tatays and graceland NOT SM style and its was pretty much a flood of memories. Especially when I walked into my apartment AHH its good to be home! I feel like I'm coming home after a 6 month trip working in a big city OH WAIT thats exactly what happened. I'm bacccckkkK!!! But it was all so bittersweet because everyone in my head that I match up to this place in my memories is GONE :( all my mission-berry friends are gone from this time in the mish! I'm the oldest one and the lone ranger! I almost cried when I realized that Sis Coons actually wasn't out washing clothes, or Sis Marzan wasn't just upstairs....its like there are all new people who have been living in the tomb of my memories. All week I've been feeling like that dinosaur in the best seller children's book "all my friends are dead" available at a local bookstore near you. deep sigh.

So ya. But this time around Goa, I've got to sit in the stl's chair. it feels so unnatural, I should just be upstairs at my safe little desk, but no, I'm at the bottom with 3 area books and reporting to do and sisters to take care of and a bunch of other things that I've only seen my legendary kabahays do. yiiiiikkkekeeeeekekeekesssss!

goodbye to vallenciano family :( :(

This week has been more than a little overwhelming. Everyone who's walked this area has been an amazing awesome legendary stl, and I've got some big shoes to fill! There are so many backstories and people and records and I can hardly keep everyone straight in my little pee wee brain! Ironically I feel like I'm back to square one, back to training all over again. My companion (Sis B, super nice and funny, has the coolest re-activation story that I'll spill someday over coffee HA gotchaaa) I've just felt dragged around by her all week, to this person to this family, oh here's the backstory, dragged around to all these people I don't know but have heard about, not understanding everything cause PSYCH I'm in deep Bicol again, getting referred to in the third person ("does she speak Bicol? where's she from" HI YES i'm HERE people just talk to me, ha?) Not getting any eye contact from anyone in lessons cause its all on sis b, fumbling over words in Tagalog and feeling like a dunce running out of things to say or messing up, having sis b re-teach everything i just said but like a million times better, blah blah blah i could go on and on. At the end of the whole week like that i just plopped down in my chair and wanted to yell "ARE YOU SERIOUS???!!" does it NEVER END??  Does this feeling never go
away?!?! oh cruel irony.  Even with 14 months under my belt i'm still feeling like i'm 14 days in the empty sea.

goodbyeeee sis manoaaaaa!!! farewelL!!!!!

It's been a long long week and all felt like a bad dream especially when I realize WAIT I'm the stl here? im the one who's supposed to be a leader? I'm hoping this is as bad as it gets and its just gonna get better from here. Actually I know its going to get better, because David Archuleta told me in a song. But even if he didn't, I know that its just my first week and I'm being a baby and things are gonna be fine soon :) I've just gotta keep reminding myself that they didn't call another ppina here, they called a sister mcgrath. I know a ppina could prob ace this better than I could but that's not what President Monson wanted, he wanted Sis Mcgrath to serve here. I've just gotta trust that I can do it and stop comparing myself!

But- silver linings! OH IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!!!! I wish I could describe the beauty of this place. I will take loads of pics next week. I've MISSED THIS. The rice fields are never ending, Mt Isarog and all the other baby mountains are blue and the clouds are low and the color green is just a different shade over here. My feet are filthy dirty by the end of the day, there are bugs hitting my face, I walk on more dirt than pavement AH its a dream!! The grass and weeds we walk through are waist high sometimes and my feet and legs get itchy and I just want to kiss the ground cause SM is not in sight and there are more bugs than people. (exaggeration). I feel all the materialism of Naga leaking out with every step! Its awesome! another awesome thing is that I got to see people that I've visited once or twice on exchanges, but now its my area, anyways its been so sweet to come back and it feels like I'm seeing old friends.  Especially with the ward! I saw my Bishop and his two counselors and that sweet sweet tatay that I love that I spent mahal na araw with (remember the one who gave a tour of his garden?) and now there are ysa on missions and people I remember and its just fun fun fun.

Sis Reeder texted and gave me an update on Naga 3rd. I called and we talked- Sis Jane is back! She is home from Manila and Sis reeder invited her to come with her to women's conference this week! And tatay Betito received a calling in the elders quorum presidency!! YAY!!! Sis Reeder said that the members said they were going to miss me and that they were grateful for my hard work. Awh, I will miss you Naga 3rd! sad to say goodbye when thats been my home ward for 6 months.

That's all there is, there isn't...anymore!

LOVE YOU or MAHAL KITA or PADANGAT KITA blehhh langauge is the worst right!?

inyong minamahal na aki,

sis mcgrath

that one week where my life got hit by penafrancia + surprise transfers

Its been insane. Did I mention in my last email that penafrancia was coming?? well SHE CAME ALL RIGHT!!! ooooh I wish I could type it all out and find the way to fully explain the insanity of the wonderful festival of penafrancia, but I think theres no way. You just gotta experience it.

To give a quick summary for the newbees it goes like this. Millions of people from everywhere flock the streets of Naga, every street is lined with jeeps crowded with people. People come to the gigantic basilica right smack in my area and they have this procession thing with "Ina" or the mother Mary, that looks like this little gold triangle thing. Ina floats down the dirty river that backs up to our apartment and goes back to the basilica until next year, which for some reason gives everyone in the world an excuse to get wasted and drink all day and night FOR DAYS. Pretty much this whole week we had hardly any lessons, cause if you go outside a few of the following will happen to you:

A) you will be stared at/ hollered at/ given even more attention than usual (its possible) due to all the fresh faces not used to seeing you around

B) you will dodge drunk men wobbling around

C) you will have to cut your way through the middle of them sitting and drinking and laughing the most abrasive pirate sounding laughs BAHAHAHA

D) you will get called hermana. ya idk.

E) you will get called in to come and eat (this ones not so bad, eh?)

F) if you even try to approach and try to teach you will be started at with a look that says "what in the world its penafrancia are you serious. chill out and have something to drink"

G) you will see a plenitude of gay men dressed in spandexy things with lots of lipstick strutting around

F) you will run into tons of baton girls and band kids and girl scouts who think you're a walking barbie just cause your white

G) people with flags and headbands that say viva la virgin will yell in your face with their rancid breath "VIVAAAAAA"

And thhhhatt folks was our week. We seriously just walked and dodged people all week. Sigh. Whatcha gunna do? I wish I could have taken pictures without looking like a total dweeb. Just google it and look at all that fun and picture my white face sandwiched in the middle. VIVA LA VIRGEN PEOPLE!! kinda sad, all our investigators drank and drank and drank. They say God understands cause its penafrancia time. oh Babylon oh Babylon..............

And then it came. I'm really bidding farewell. SURPRISE OUT OF THE BLUE they called yesterday and it's happening. After 5 whopping transfers as a Naga 3rd sister I am finally done. The only problem is that I'm only HALFWAY done with training sister M!!! I'm leaving my aki!!!  I've been drawing maps in the area book like crazy and leaving sticky notes everywhere like a mom's notes for a babysitter. (Ok go visit sis maria from 1-3 on tuesdays and thursdays but not any later or she'll get mad, don't forget to text this person first, make sure you always remind brother about the word of wisdom and ask how he's doing, always drop by this one sister at 6:30 every thursday just to see if she's there, etc etc) man.  It's hard to leave all my hard work and effort into the hands of another. But I have to remember it wasn't really me who had a grip in the first place, Heavenly Father is in charge talaga and it doesn't matter how many schedules or short cuts or things I've got figured out here, what needs to happen will happen.

So then comes the question- where in the world am I going? you'll never believe it......I am RETURNING to GOA!!!! RETURNING TO WHERE I CAME!! and I will probably end there so that means I will have a grand slam total of 3 areas on my mission. So I will be going back home, back to my same apartment, will shop at the same prime with the bag guy who calls me "M-C-Grath M-C-Grath", will be lookin' out the same windows, dodging the same spiders  (I mean I guess it's their children spiders...they've multiplied since then I guess). The only catch is that this time I'm in the other ward....Goa 1st ward...and they think I know how to be an STL. I will be the only STL sister there, my companion Sis B has just finished her training and I'm her follow-up too. I've got to somehow figure out this whole sister training leader thing with no one to lead or train ME. Its so weird, I'm going to be in the same place as all my kabahay's were in Goa. The cool stl's downstairs, following up on all their people, etc. It's like the freakiest reverse/progression of my life. So ya.  At the moment, feeling very unqualified and like its all a big joke because I still feel like I don't even know what to say or how to fix things myself let alone train other sisters and go on exchanges with them...alone.......I guess stl really means shocked, terrified, and lonely. Help me out will ya with some prayers this week :D

So thats my crazy week. I've got to go catch the bus to Goa soon, email you next week! mahal na mahal kita! PRAY FO' ME PLEAZ

Love Sister McGrath

viva la virgin.

That one week where everyone was preparing for Piniafrancia

Yep! It's piniafrancia time people. The biggest celebration in all of Bicol, and here I am in the heart of Naga. Oh man. It hasn't even technically come, its still next week, but BOY OH BOY are the people flocking in and parades starting. There was the starting parade thing down the street we live on. Seriously we were walking and couldn't get through because of the thickness of people! They all are in white with ties on their head that say VIVA LA VIRGIN and they just yell that and run around. Ina ko. its so crazy! anyways I will just write more of that next week when the storm actually hits in all its fullness and glory.

We had trainer/trainee workshop this week. haha so funny to hear about all of the newbies experiences. haha one elder's trainer told us that his aki was going to give up, he had president's number all dialed and he just needed to press call when all of the sudden he saw a nike t shirt outside that said "don't quit" haha so he took it as a sign and is still here. Missions are rough haha. They said though that this group of trainees and trainers has the most love they've felt toward each other in all of our reporting and stuff on each other. wow! sweet! it was good to know im actually not doing too shabby of a job even though i feel like it.

trainer/trainee workshop 

This Friday we had interviews with President. FINALLY!! I've been so needing to talk it out and just talk to someone who can talk back and get it. Whew. President asked me how things were, to explain to him why the area is so hard, etc etc. Lots of letting out. I told him all of the struggle and hard time that its been. I cried and just told him how rough its been. He told me lots of things, one being that this feeling isn't just unique to mission life. He says that I am going to still feel this all through out my life at times, that I'm doing everything I can but it's just still so hard to see the blessings and fruits of my work. He said it seems my mission hasn't turned out to be what I thought it was going to be, but that it was exactly what I need. I know that's so true, this is so far from my vague idea of a mission in the ppines, but I know I'm learning all the lessons that are specifically for me and no one else here. President says that life is going to continue sometimes to not turn out as hoped. He said he sees a quiet calm in me that will serve me well now and for the rest of my life when hard times come, and how I'm learning now to not lose hope and stay up will be such a blessing to me later. He said that the biggest thing I might get out of my mission is how serve better in all the callings to come in my life, in the church and also as a wife and mother. So interesting he said that cause all the time I feel like this is just mommy 101 and pre-requisite work to be a great visiting teacher. It was just a good interview, good to talk.  Good to get a bigger perspective and remember not to trip up in the today or tomorrow but to open my eyes to all the good this is/will do for me. Sister Reeder too! We had a interview with her. She said that when she saw me one time last week she looked at me and knew I had a heavy heart. She told President and they both said of course, look at the load she's got right now, and then gave extra prayers for me. It is so wonderful to have such an inspired and wise mission president and Sis Reeder to lead and comfort me! I love them so so dearly.

Sunday- it turned out to be fast and testimony cause we had stake conference last week. The stake has this new push on reverence that they are implementing into our wards, no talking really or shaking hands when you enter the chapel, prelude music, turn off your cell phones when you go in, etc etc. Right away the Spirit was so strong in the chapel. We walked in and there sitting were the nayve brothers! AH i could cry I love those funny funny men so much and I was so glad they were there. Brother Alejandro and Eugine came. Sister Jane came and Bro Betito. My heart was so full as I looked out cause I really love all these folks so much.

this alley way is to our apt, we are the second door on the left. 

Last last week we had a 5th Sunday class on how to give a talk and how to bear a testimony, SO good and SO needed, this week all of the jokes and random stories and useless stuff was cut out and it was just pure, straight to the core testimonies. About 1/2 the ward was crying, I'd bet you a lot of pesos that every woman in the room had tears and some of the men too. One of the most spiritual meetings I've ever been in! These members really are so amazing and their testimonies are so simple but you just know they are speaking the truth. I felt like I needed to go up, and so up I went. And then I proceeded to tell them how things really were about now. I told them about the struggles we've been having, about my interview with president asking why is it like this, all of the hard hard hard. I started to cry and told them that missions really are so hard, and that the Lord really gives us challenges almost to our breaking point. I said a lot of other things too, but at this point I was crying pretty hard.  A big emotional mix of the Spirit and the challenge of being in an area for 6 months and in the end 7 total...pretty much I was just a big baby and gave them a real harsh look at the reality of serving in Naga 3rd. Welp. I sureeee did it there.....after church i was overflowed with comfort and hug and dinner appts, and pity looks, lots of pity looks and questions like "wow is life really that hard? you ok?" haha stuff like that.

just another day in paradise!!!

In our correlation meeting all of our ward mission leaders said thanks for telling the ward how I feel, and that they were really sorry. They said they've been slacking and gave lots of ideas how they are going to improve, etc etc. In the middle of their speaking, Brother Gamil that sweet sweet man comes in and interrupts and says "Sis Mcgrath I was really touched by your testimony, I want to help" and offered the family history center and his time to help anyone who wants to/use it as a finding idea stuff. Wow! I guess all you really need to do to get some changes is humble yourself up real good, stand up in front of everyone and cry your eyes out and let em see you in your terribly weak and sad state. haha woowee I sure got a laugh explaining the whole thing to Sis M who was so confused of what just happened on our Sunday :D

little you knoooowww.....little you seeeeeee!!!

(ahem song quote from les mis)

Anyways, that's all the crying I did this week, only twice HAHA! Oh so pitiful. But really, like, I promise I am fine. I know its all for my good, I know it's a beautiful life and I am so blessed, I really am a happy thing, if I'm not giving a good balance in this email of good/bad, just please trust me that things are fine. I've got a good perspective and nothing can phase me anymore. Its already been the worst I could imagine, what else could happen? It's ok if all the investigators leave, if we have to drop them all, its ok its ok its ok whatever happens is ok. its ok. its ok. its a good life.

As far as this week, I know its going to be the biggest joke of my LIFE to get out and work, honestly the ward just said go eat and good luck. haha everyone invites you in to eat if you walk by when its fiesta time. So, yep, pray that we don't get mobbed to death and that I can survive being a white girl in this very brown populated country this next week. Oh boy, here we go!

Thank you for all the support and love and prayers and love and I need it all so much.
Love Sis Mcgrath

DONT WORRY! BE HAPPY! I'm fine promise :)

Dusting Yourself Off

playing games at fhe!!!!! if you lose you get a mark.....

he he guess who lost YOURS TRULY! 

Whow. I've survived this crazy emotional week!  Here I will tell you all about it, but its a slow typing day cause I sliced my finger on the mop and so my typing is all awkward. Poor little finger is having a hard day.

Ok. So if you recall with me, my last email sounded pretty sad, pretty down in the dumps, huh? Well ya, I pretty much fell in those dumps this week, but I've climbed out! Victory!

Alright it goes like this. Tuesday morning Sis M. was sick, so I let her sleep in the morning. In my personal study I was all alone, and opened my scriptures and just let the tears flow. Mama and Papa I read your kind inspirational words and just let the tears come out. In the middle of my pity party the AP's call and say I need to come over and go on splits with 2 sisters for the morning while their companions were at mlc...blah! I wipe up the tears and its go time. We study and split with those two sisters, we have no food so I think up something to go get and cook and then clean up after all of us and after more study were about to go out. I'm brushing my teeth and a random number calls our phone. I answer it only to be greeted by a frantic sounding lady telling us that she is calling from Washington state and her brother just got hit in a motorcycle accident and was in ICU in Bicol medical hospital, in our area. The lady was a member but her brother was not, and she asked if we could send some elders and give him a blessing. She only knew the name of her brother and his wife, so I took it down, spit out my toothpaste, and told her we would do all that we could to help. I had no idea how she got our number, but she said she specifically wanted to talk to sisters. Well, she called the right ones. I took on this sister's request like it was my own brother!

planners. ang dami na.

We went to the mish home right after to deliver the sisters back to their companions, and I thought it would be perfect because all of our elder- leaders were there and surely someone could help. I explain the situation to some of them, but they point to the next companionship. I explain it again, they have somewhere to go. I explain it to another elder, he's got to go somewhere too. Slowly but surely, all of the elders filed out, full of excuses and pointing fingers to the person next to them. WHAT!? At this point I was getting desperate, I was pleading with anyone to come help. But, nope. They all were gone. I felt so helpless and defeated! Seriously!? I mean I know that they all had legit excuses, but come on. I bet every time in their lives they will be asked to use their priesthood there will be something else to do.

Finally our beloved district leader says he can be there in 30 mins. (He said he needed time to repent and to change his shirt..haha how awesome!) In the meantime I was talking to Sis Reeder because my throat was killing me and my tonsils felt all inflamed and ouch.  She gave me an antibiotic to go buy. Anyways, so we finally rounded up some elders. Next task. Find this guy in this huge hospital with only his name to go on. We walked everywhere, up and down, asking and trying to find him in that hot hot hospital. I saw sooo many people that were sad, crying, sick, people after people we just kept passing them trying to find this guy. Finally we did! It was a miracle. He was in this long room at the very end, he had internal bleeding in his brain from the crash. I wanted to cry when I saw him, he looked so bad :(

The people next to him were literally open and exposed getting operated on, I wanted to puke. This one guy was conscious, with his side sliced open, 3 people holding him down and someone holding a tube pumping air into a hole in his throat.  He was wriggling all around....AHH I hate hospitals!! People were in the hall with tears in their eyes and I just looked in to the room at the elders blessing the lady's brother even though I don't think he could hear a word. I just wanted to cry! So much pain! I really think I have that thing that the blonde lady has on Reba, where other people's pain and sick becomes her own haha.

this is us soaking from the rain- i wish i could describe that 

downpour to you in a way for you to understand. there aren't words. 

We left the hospital and went to the pharmacy to get my meds cause I felt so terrible. We were in the hospital for such a long time that we didn't get to work that much, so I just shove the medicine in my bag and we go straight to work. We're walking by a member's restaurant, and who do I see but the elders, just chillin, watching the news and eating. WHAT! hell-oooo?? there is work to DO people!! I was so disappointed- just barely finished stepping up to the plate and now they think they deserve a break. Of course I march in there, give them a good long look to make them guilty. Good I hope they DO feel guilty. whatever. We then went straight to teach our investigator and he's got some word of wisdom problems and so we're still trying to work it out and help him and teach and just do anything. During the lesson though my eyes were falling shut, I think I was just so exhausted from the past couple of weeks and my body was finally catching up and starting to feel it. My throat hurt so bad and I could hardly talk, and after work I just crashed. I didn't wake up till the next day, and I could hardly make any noise because of my stupid throat. I was on the antibitics but it takes some time to work. Sis Reeder told me I need to stay in, mother's orders. noooooO!!!! I don't want to stay in!! But I really felt so physically and emotionally exhausted.

I moved my bed mat into the spare room cause it's dark there, turned on the electric fan and off the light, and just laid there. I couldn't sleep cause there was so much stress and pain in my head, so stressed about the area, so sad for all those people in the hospital, so many FEELINGS and I couldn't turn it off.  So I didn't, I just laid there in my dark little pit and cried it out. It felt so...low.  Agh. worst day ever. At the end of it my eyes were red and I was tired of feeling in a funk. I had the elders come give me a blessing because I couldn't get up on my own, physically or emotionally.

After that I just needed to get out, so I crawled up to our roof top. I was so sick of being inside so it was nice to go up there, even though the tree next to me was filled with bats and there were

check out your inspiring words on my wall!

cockroaches crawling around. Whatever, at least there was fresh air!! I had your emails I printed out last week, and read them. I read all the comments saying how "strong" and "brave" I was, and I just laughed. HA! strong? brave? I've just been curled up in a ball all day in the dark crying cause I don't want to face reality. NOT feeling pretty strong or amazing at all.

I look up at the stars, they are so few and so faint because of the city lights. Awh, I feel for those little stars. I bet they are trying so hard to shoot out some ray of light though the thick darkness that threatens to swallow them. I bet they feel really far away from the next star and pretty lonely. I wonder if they worry that they are making any difference at all. They are so outnumbered, the black is undoubtedly more vast and spacious than their tiny pin-point specks of light. I wish I could just shout out to them and tell them that they are closer to the next star than they think, that I can see their glow! I wish they could sit in my place and look up instead of down and see what a beautiful sight they are. I wondered if they were trying to say the same thing to me, that I'm really not that far from home at all, that all my efforts to shine and bring light into the world ARE making a difference, even if its just a pin point. Ironically, I bet life being a star probably feels pretty dim. All they can do is look out and see darkness and have no idea of their own light. Me too, I may not feel strong, my eyes may be puffy and red, I may just be a tiny dim star in this vast world, trying my best to do my best. Whatever, stupid darkness, you're not beating me! You may have got me down for one day but I am dusting myself off, and gonna go shine some more!

The next day it felt so good to get out. Even though it was the same old area with the same problems and stress, hey at least I wasn't confined in a sick bed. We worked with some future elders in our ward, they are awesome! Our day went pretty lousy though as far as lessons. Oh missions are so crazy and some things are just so out of your control. People make me laugh.

supriiiiiiissssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

(see i totally look like im having the most fun in this picture haha)

The next day was sis s's bday, so I had this great idea to use the oven in the Hoopes' apartment and cook some brownies! Long story, but in the end we were heading home in a trycee, me on the outside motor, holding a glass pan of hot brownies with 2 hot pads. Needless to say, the stares I got were just great :) haha what a sight! We surprised her really good and I think I may have enjoyed her bday more than her. I just love bdays and party and surprises! Especially the surprises part!

The next day we had an adult session of stake conference, it was a video broadcast about the ward correlation meeting. I think the point of it was to watch and then point out our own mistakes and things that aren't right instead of them saying it straight to us. It was good, horribly cheesy acting, the ideal ward fully representing minorities of latino, asian, african american, and women. yay! Anyways after the video our stake had a discussion about it, come up to the mic and say what we can improve on thing. After tons of comments from bishops and other leaders, the stake president stood up, and called "Sister McGrath, could you come and share with us?" I was summoned to come up. WHAT!! awjeuirjsvjsutjiojvs! I had no idea President Gamil even knew my name let alone choose me from hundreds of people! I gulped and started to make my way all the way to the front...asking desperately to everyone I was passing what his question was. I really didn't hear it. Luckily he repeated it, and I whipped out some sort of comment and pulled the whole thing off alright I think.

Other stuff happened this week too but thats the jist of it, my falling in the pit story and crawling out of it again. Now my finger hurts so bad from typing all that, there's like steam coming out of it and he's crying. I have to let him rest. Ok, ok! thats all! Thank you for the prayers and care and love and wonderful things that you are! I love you!!

Love Sis McGrath

Peace, be still

Well. Another week. I honestly don't feel in the mood to write it all down and hash it all back to you, but I will give you a few excerpted lines from my journal so you can get an impression. Wow missions are hard, huh? Manoa and I are still stompin the streets, keep going keep going keep going. She and I are close though and she cracks me up, its good that I love her or it would make everything else so much harder. She's doing good, slowlyyyy progressing in english and tagalog. We read line by line out of the Book of Mormon, she in English I in Tagalog "and it came to pass" "at ito ay nangyari na" etc. She's got a harrrrd time. The poor girl. But, as ever, the best attitude about it. I don't even think she's cried yet! amazing little trooper!

Annnd so, honestly, this week was hard. People are usually nice in their rejections, but this week for some reason its like they all ate something to make them especially rude. people yell, tell us to get out, get mad because they are busy and we are disturbing them, door after door, hour after hour like that. the efforts to find are much but the fruits are so few. this week has been almost ALL finding because we are at an all time low in investigator pool. Its been day after day of just trying to find somewhere to go, someone new to talk to, trying to hold in the tears from all the unkind words and rejection.

It does lighten the mood though after someone is done yelling at us, then Sis Manoa says "what do they say?" wearing the sweetest little innocent face, and I say "they just got mad at us because they are Catholic and they want us off their property" and then she says "ahhh why!?" haha, its like, late reaction all the time and it makes us laugh. One of our investigators this week returned her Book of Mormon to us, told us she never has been or will read it, that she isn't really interested, and that we should just take it and give it to someone else cause who knows, a typhoon might come and get the pages wet cause their roof isn't very sturdy. Yep, good thinking, we wouldn't want to risk that. Better just give us back that book about salvation for safe keeping. AH! PEOPLE!!

In our DM this week for our reporting, we just had to stand and say how we are doing. Our wise DL knows how rough it is and how low all of our numbers are, and he just wanted to make sure we were ok. As we stood to report our hollow week of rejections, I almost wanted to cry. I feel so exhausted, doing everything I can possibly think of, and still feel like its not enough. The other elders and sisters too, in their reports, are experiencing similar things. As long as God knows we are doing our best though, no matter the circumstances, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I know I am doing my best and I should just be satisfied with that and know that God is proud of me.

At our weekly planning we had a hard facing of reality. This is the very lowest amount of investigators I've ever had in my whole mission. I don't know about other missions, but this might be a first here. We have a grand total of four. Yep, 4. and out of those 4, we lost 2 by the end of Sunday! So as of today, we are at 2. twooooooo inveeesstttigggatooorrrrssss. how is that possible! it is honestly so hard to battle the feelings that I'm even making a difference. I've been 5 months here and I literally have nothing to show for it but a journal full of days and experiences that somehow tell me I was working. We've dropped everyone I've ever taught, since the beginning of my time here.

I've been feeling like I'm being eaten alive by discouraging thoughts, so for a solution I wrote them all out, everything in my head so I could start to reverse it and recognize the source. I'll share a few, why not, this is already as bleak and honest an email as there ever was. "where am i going to go, where am i going to go" "i feel like i'm not living up to who i should be as sis manoa's trainer, she deserves so much better" "why do so few find the truth when its literally right in front of them?" "when are these people going to find 10 mins to slow down from their busy lives, so we can change their entire life's destination?" "why are people so blind?" "where is all my hard work going?" "why is life so unfair and why has this heartbreaking poverty been dealt to some while others are safe and full in their mansions?" "i'm so tired of debate and fighting about gospel topics and i'm so sick of fighting. i just don't want to fight anymore" "what more can i be doing, what am i NOT doing right?" "oh no, why am i thinking these things, i need to be strong, i cant be down like this, so many people depend on me" "i feel like i've got nothing left, that i'm pounded like a small crushed can" and there's more........AHHH i feel like i'm drowning! As all these terrible vibes were in my mind I just wanted to scream STOP!!!!!!! stop!! I'm so sick of it!

I opened my Bible and the words of Jesus Christ stopped all of these thoughts racing in my mind. I read "in the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world". It felt like the storm in my mind was silenced, the rain stopped, the race stood still. I just closed my eyes and cried and repeated the words over and over again. Peace, be still. I also read Alma's words, and cried because they were so much of what I am feeling. "wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ" I feel that plea echoing in me all the time. I feel like I've hardly got enough breath to yell out for help, just a faint "wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ" is all that can escape. I know that I'm not doing this alone, I know that even though I feel so alone and I'm getting whipped around hour after hour, that this is what the Lord wants me to do. I know that He loves me, and that He loves all his children.

Because of that love, somehow I walk outside everyday and get hurt. I know that God loves them, and that this message is too important for me to sit still. Even when they yell at me or when they get mad i know that God still loves them, and i just feel sad that they are that way. God loves the world so much, Jesus Christ was given to us as a testament of that love. All I've got to do is be an extension of that love, to just keep going, keep trying to share this message of peace in a crazy crazy world. While I myself am guilty of saying "carest thou not that I perish?" and for all the people outside who aren't aware that they are perishing, I know that Jesus Christ has come, and that through him I don't have to drown. Peace, be still, peace be still. Christ lifts me, and his light inside of me is really the only reason I get up and work hard.

Thats all I can muster this week, sorry if this shatters anyone's view that missionaries are just so happy and living the dream all the time. I believe in being genuine.  So I will be :) THANK YOU for all the prayers and for all of the hope and inspiration! As I read all those sweet comments from fb my eyes got teary. Wow, what an overwhelming amount of nice things to hear! You have no idea how much it means to me, thank you. That's a wrap! Email you next week- miracles are going to happen!!

LOVE sis mcgrath

Und-a pressha

Well well well it's Monday once again! It has been a long week and I could write a novel, but I did my best to summarize my journal entries on a sticky note and give you the good the bad and the ugly. buckle up!

Tuesday morning I woke up and the line from PMG comes to my head right away "how long is your line in the water?" Basically how much of our time is actually spent doing missionary work, and how much is just getting there?  Got it. This week the time doesn't tick counting minutes we are away from the apartment but the time our lines are in the water. I feel like I've been urgently running around all week working so hard with no time to even take a breath! But it's all good, I'm happy to be busy and occupied.


So we shoot out the door Tuesday morning contacting referrals and OYM-ing and talking to every soul. We end up getting directed to this boarding house, deep inside one of the rooms someone said a Mormon lived there. Sure enough- we met a old brother E who confirmed the statement that he was a Mormon, or used to be a Mormon. He was baptized in 1977 and excommunicated in the 70's as well. 3 years ago he became iglesia ni cristo. He welcomed us in, told us to sit down, and before we could get anything but our first names out he starts ranting and pulling out all of his Bibles and different religious books and telling us what we believe and how its wrong. I was shocked that within the first 5 mins he was that bold with us, and didn't say much. He has real problems with the Godhead and the doctrine of God having a body of flesh and bones. After about 30 mins of raging he started to yell and get really angry, demanding us to point to him a verse in the Bible that claims that God has a body. But I being the smart little snap I was, was too wise to take his bait, nope, no way am I about to start debating or proving or pointing. I knew that even if I could pull out a scripture he was not in a place to say "oh ya, you are right huh?' Instead I calmly told him that we would like to return on Saturday at 3:30, we would research his concerns and be back. Flip, wrong move! He gets even madder and starts yelling "You mean to tell me you aren't prepared to answer a simple question? You call yourselves disciples of Christ? How can you wake up in the morning and wear that badge if you don't even know anything about what you preach!?" My eyes swelled with tears but I held my tounge, shoved down the tears, and just took it. He went on and on, insults about us and our church. When there was a break in his yelling I said BROTHER.  We will be back Saturday at 3:30, goodbye. We walked out of there and I took a deep breath, let the tears go, then had to turn and try and explain why I was crying, and everything E said to Sis M. ohh its hard to not even have someone else to talk to about it. Wiped away the tears, then went back out to tract. All the people we talked to that morning wouldn't even answer our question about what street this is and told us to get out and shoo away. The only man that was willing to let us into his shack was this drunk guy...yeah we will just come back when you're in your right mind. And thats all before 11:30 am on a Tuesday!

Later that day our investigator who was slowly progressing with word of wisdom relapsed and now is at 4 cigarettes a day. A (our recent convert) didn't come to church the Sunday after his baptism, so we visited him and tuns out they just slept in. Sister Jane, my beloved investigator, went back to Manila for another indefinite time frame and I might be gone when she comes back. How am I supposed to help her battle all her doubts and concerns if she's hundreds of miles away? We visited another less active who has no money to come to church, shared a scripture and then helped her budget out her expenses and wage she gets in one week and where all the money is going. We figured if she walks to the pelenke all week and saves 2 pesos a day, she will have enough. She's a single mom and her son is a deacon, they really really need the blessings of church attendance. All day of walking walking walking and talking talking talking wipes me out. Sis M too- we were tracting this home at 7:45 and she just sat on the ground with her head in her knees. Awh- I feel bad. Missionary work is so hard at first and hard to adjust. We came home planned and crashed. There's my Tuesday!

The rest of the week I wont go into so great of detail, but good news is L our less active promised to come to church before September is over!! AAH I seriously dream all the time of that wonderful Sunday when I see her in those church doors, I'd give anything for it to become reality. We went jogging on Thursday morning before 6:30 and drank some buko juice. In the middle of a lesson an Indian man came up to me, totally interrupted, and asked me if I'm married and all of these creepy personal questions. To his credit we were teaching in a restaurant, so there were lots of people, but still can't you see we're busy here? Totally creepy but I give him credit for his persistence and his people finding skills. He'd make a good missionary.

Later in our comp study I literally fell asleep in the middle of talking. Ya, I was sharing what I read in my personal study and then my mouth got all slow and I zonked out for a bit. Woke up and Sis M motioned I just kinda fell asleep there for a second. I got up and brushed my teeth and did simultaneous jumping jacks to wake up. Back into the world.

Nanay S

This week we had Sister Seechung work with us! She's the oldest member of RS at a white-haired age of 83! She worked with us! It was the cutest thing. We came to pick her up at the church all dolled up, then tryceed all the way to the doorstep of Nanay S, our less active who has a grand total of 6 teaching records all recording her firmness to never step foot into the Mormon church again. Actually Bishop told us to not waste our time visiting her anymore, but Nanay Seechung wanted to visit her long lost friend so we did. S is 75-ish? Anyways, cutest thing- we walk her up to S's door, they see each other, and Nanay Seechung laughs and shuffles into the door, arms stretched wide and says "I'm gonna hug you!' and grabs her in a big hug, while Nanay S exclaims she hasn't bathed and to stop. Whatever, I know she loved it! We pretty much let those two go, talking and talking and catching up, Nanay Seechung telling her to come back and join us. Oh I hope to be a Nanay Seechung when I grow up, she's definitely added to my list of role models. 83 years old and still making house visits to call her sisters back! Amazing talaga.

Let's go back to Saturday, the dreaded return visit with Brother E. All week I've been reading and studying and listening to conference talks and doing all sorts of research on the Godhead and every other concern of his, wrote down a nice little list of scriptures across the whole gospel library, addressed it to him, packed my bag and said a prayer and left the rest to the Lord. As we walked to his boarding house I didn't feel that nervous, I felt armed sword and shield with scriptures and my testimony. We rushed to get there on time (there was no way I would have him think we were scared or intimidated) and at 3:30 on the dot we knock, and he opens the door. His jaw drops, he couldn't hide his surprise that it was us and that we actually came back. We came in, sat down, on the table beside us was open every single religious book he owned and I knew that I wasn't the only one who had been preparing. I took a deep breath, turned around the room and saw a pic of him holding a grandkid. whoow. Ok. He's just a nice kind grandpa deep down.

I told myself that, said a sincere opening prayer for the Spirit to be there and to help us respect each others beliefs and have our knowledge expanded, and it was go time. I unlaid the scriptures before him, we went everywhere on our little scripture journey. He had lots of questions and needed lots of explanation, every other question was "what is your stance on/ what do you believe about?'' I felt so calm and quickly could answer his questions. I am so glad that I can trust 100% in my testimony and the things I've learned and know that they will never conflict because truth doesn't conflict with truth. I will never get tied up or tripped up if I stick to the truth. It was very intense, but this time he was quieter.

At one point I could see in his eyes, as I was bearing testimony and boldly declaring the truth, I could see in his eyes that he knew I was right and there was no denying it. He didn't say anything, literally had ran out of things to say. He didn't fight, didn't yell, none of that. He quietly told us that he was so impressed that we actually showed up, he really didn't think we were coming. He told us that in the past, missionaries have found him, after their first meeting said they would come back and then never did. His countenance was totally changed, so softened. I couldn't believe this was the same man as Tuesday, did this guy really make me cry? He thanked us so much for the visit, introduced us to his wife, told us to be back next Saturday same time and our discussion would be salvation. We asked him to say the closing prayer, and as he prayed he burst into tears and thanked the Lord for sending his servants to him once again, he prayed for our success in bringing our other brothers and sisters to the light, and all sorts of other things like that through heavy tears. I had to open my eyes to believe it. Funny how I was the one left in tears the first time and now we left him in tears. MAN HOW AWESOME!! I know that the Spirit really does work through me and that somehow I can battle dragons with it's strength. We left and fist pumped the air, then I had to tell the whole thing to Sis M again who didn't catch a word, haha :)

That brings me to aki, Sis M. Whooooow. It is a haaard time to speak. It really stretches my patience to the max! haha we have a lot of fun though and are good pals, shes so hilarious! haha oh my gosh sometimes though, I cant help but crack up to the things she says! I totally feel for my trainer now and know that I was probably saying crazy things too. Some of the week's highlights are "each person we teach is a problem and trial" and "God sends us problems to reveal the gospel" HA! ooh we get a good hoot and holler as I tell her what she really just said. She's got the greatest attitude though, just happy and pressing forward in learning. so its slow, slow slow progress, but thats expected. just a little pressure on me to handle this whole thing sort of alone for a while. Keep up the prayers for her AND for me, we need them so much!

That's the week! We are happy and good and working well under pressure! It's hard and its good and every night in my prayers I tear up just so grateful to be here and to be a part of this work. I love being a missionary! I love you all ! Have a great week!

Love, Sister McGrath