This week has also had a way of sending all the trials it could at one time....that's so funny how that happens, its never just one challenge at a time but usually multiple punches. I don't have time to update you on all of them, but this week has brought me to my knees more than ever. Every single day this week i have said a teary prayer pleading to give me the strength to open my eyes and make it though the next hour. It is such a miracle when I hit the cot way after I should have been sleeping and just close my eyes and thank the Lord that I survived the day. After some mild problems with the comp, the ward, and other missionaries, I can say I'm making my way through slowly but surely!
This week I split with 4 sisters, it was the best!! I can't write everything ahh it kills me! Sis P is the sweetest thing and so positive and brave! she is amazing! Sis N is incredible as well and I just wish I could have her parents tune in and see the incredible things their daughter does every day. They would be so proud. Sis P is the sweetest purest heart and has incredible patience. And finally Sis H- this is her 2nd transfer in the mish and she has been having the hardest time imaginable. In our evaluation after exchanges, we ended up staying and talking for more than an hour and went to bed way past 12. As she told me everything thats going on and all of the hard things she's going through, she broke down and cried. For more than an hour she cried and I just stayed by her side with and arm around her and listened. She said that last week she was about to give up, as in totally quit and go home, but then at our zone conference (president shared to us "becoming a consecrated missionary" talk by tad r callister, its a life changer and i highly highly recommend it to all missionaries) she felt like that isn't what God wanted. As she cried the Spirit was so strong in me and I felt lifted beyond myself. I told her lots and lots of things that I know didn't come from me directly, I felt such a strong love for her and told her how much Heavenly Father needs her here. Lots more was said, tears were shed from both of us, and I said a very fervent prayer for her at the end of our talk. At the end she said thank you, "I feel like I just got to talk to my mom". Her comment struck me and the gratitude and love I had for her filled my whole soul and took away every ache and weary pain in my poor tired self. This week was so tiring but I'd hands down do it all again just to hear those words and have the Spirit speak through me again. keep my sisters in your prayers!!!
After feeling like I've been whipped around all over the place this week and been through a crazy storm, I remember what a strong feeling of peace I had when I woke up on Sunday morning. Actually this week it has been a literal crazy storm, its been raining so hard and so windy (i even broke out the cardigan people :O) and on Saturday night after mine and Sis H's long talk I said what felt like an even longer prayer. There are so many things i need to pray for! I need so much help and others to too! I prayed it out on sore knees and also thanked Heavenly Father for Jesus Christ. As I prayed I thought about His atonement, and the chance I had to partake of the sacrament the next day. My eyes swelled with tears all over again for gratitude and love for my Savior. I can't explain it all well enough in a dinky email.
When I woke up on Sunday morning I just laid there and it was calm. It had stopped raining like it had been all night, and it was quiet. I was the first one up, and I just had peace spoken deep to my bones. I felt that what I was doing was good, and it was enough, and I imagined Jesus smiling down on me. I know its so simple, but that picture in my head and feeling I can't describe. It was a very peter-like moment hearing "wherefore didst thou doubt?" I felt lifted up, back on the boat, and filled with peace. I know that God gives me strength to do this work and that I need it every hour of every day. I know He loves His children, I know He loves Sis P and Sis H and Sis N and Sis P and Sis B and me. I know He loves me. I am so grateful that I can use the atonement every day, and even though the days are so hard, they string together to make the most beautiful thing I could ever obtain.
That's all I can write this week, I wish I could have another hour to pour out even more to you. Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray for me and for all the other missionaries because so many are struggling and having such a hard time.
Love SIS MCGRATH
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I CAN'T I JUST CAN'T. This is the son of that monster Sis N and
I burned....I call him Montoya Jr because of his never-ending
revenge towards the murderers of his father...ahem ahem US.
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