NAITAK ANG AKING PAA WHAT THE HECK! but im still living the dream!

Ohhhhhhhhhhkayyyyyeeee. I'm fine. Don't worry. Imagine me sitting all well and fine in a computer shop healthy and happy as can be, cause thats what I am. I am totally fine now :D ok but last tuesday it was not all fine fine. haha you'll never believe what I did to myself! I hacked my foot with a machete! ya! hacked my form of transportion!  it was awesome! Ok stooooorrrryyyy timeeee:

It was a beautiful Tuesday morning, oh wait it actually was a downpour. So it was raining so dang hard but we had a service project at Sister Shirley's house clearing out weeds and grass so she can plant stuff. Our whole district was there helping out doo de doo, I was just going at it with my hands. I was ripping and tearing stuff and trying to suck in the tears cause it was so thorny and my hands were getting cut up.....but Shirley needs to plant some camoteng kahoy I've got to do this! haha it killed. So then I thought it would be more effective for everyone if I just used one of the itaks (machetes) and so I did. All was going well, my hands were thanking me, and I was chopping very nice. thunk thunk thunk THUNK I totally hit my foot right where my toe grows. I look down and didn't even recognize the scene cause there was blood gushing out everywhere into the grass around me. I just looked down and didn't even freak out, say anything, or move. I just looked at it and thought "Darn. thats my foot I guess..." (I swear the mission has stolen every ounce of reaction from me...nothing phases me anymore.) Good thing my fellow missionaries were more concerned than I was, Sis B held my toe to my foot as I hobbled to sit down. Thank goodness our astig na zone leader brought a first aid kit that morning...not planning to but he had a prompting to. I had my foot right there on Shirley's table and the elders poured cleansing stuff on it and wrapped it up. masaKIT INA KO!!!!! I can't believe I survived. I can totally give birth now. HAHA JOKE.

Anyways so I just kinda chilled there until we made our way home after the csp where I called Sis Reeder and said "oh ya...my food kinda got chopped", which rushed me to Naga asap to get sewn up. It was quite splendid I got to look at my city once again. We went to good ol Mother Setton, I hobbled in there on a bloody stub (over dramatic) and was at once looked at and helped by the most beautiful gay man who looks like a woman ever. He/she was so kind. I just laid down right there, someone came and double injected me in my arms (IHUIFHUIJCEIODJSHIR) and at the same time I was getting anesthesia in my foot in multiple places so the beautiful man could sew me up. I just screamed silently and grabbed my hair. It killed. Anyways I hobbled outta there on one foot, stitches in and antibiotics to last forever! WHOOHOOO I'M A SURVIVOR!!! it hurt soooooooo baaaaadddddddd mommmmyyyyyyyyy. i'm ok.

The next day I demanded that we work, even though I wasn't supposed to walk on it, TOO BAD FOLKS there are people to visit and gospel to share.  I oym-ed like crazy. we went on splits with the ward missionaries to cover the day we lost on Tuesday from being in the hospital. I just sorta hobbled around, took some pills. kept going. All week I've been changing the gauze and stuff, there's no time to think about it. Sis Hoops offered to take out the stitches when I go in for mlc tomorrow.....I don't think she's very gentle......I mean she wears glasses so how well can we even trust her to see straight (NO OFFENSE to all my four-eyes out there.just saying).

So lets talk people. Ok meet john carl, the sweetest kid i've ever met. He is about 12 years old but is so thin and malnourished you'd think he's 7. And skinny for a 7 year old. His mom isn't there and his dad is at work before he wakes up till after he goes to bed. He washes all his clothes, cooks, cleans, everything in his little hut and is so diligent in reading the Book of Mormon. He would be baptized by now but his dad (less active) says he will get sick if he goes out of the house to church. I sense an iceberg there....anyways to make our lessons more interesting I brought my Book of Mormon stories in Tagalog book with pictures for our Book of Mormon reading. He was so excited and could hardly keep the flashlight on the picture we were on cause he kept going from next to next. We just sat on our boulder and read with sweet little john carl. At the end I couldn't help but give him my book he just loved it so much, and he was so sweet about it. I cried once again in his closing prayer as he thanked God for food and for not leaving him. </3

We have the coolest new investigator! Sister Gain beautiful beautiful! we found her because her gma wants her to be taught to have better friends, she transfered schools because of bad influences. We went to visit her (wait is this the one I told you? did I already tell you about her cottage and fish pond and stuff?) and she is totally receptive and so willing to learn. we had 3 sisters work with us and it was perfect cause she had immediate friends. the best part is she CAME TO CHURCH YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA she totally came. Inside. Ya. I could scream I was so happy. her fellowshippers did such a good job of escorting her around all day and I was so so happy.

Ok so so much more. So much. but i guess i'll just write one more. Yesterday we fasted for nanay merenia and brother gary to be strong and good examples to the rest of their family that aren't members and fasted for their hearts to be softened. Included in my fast was also the question of what I need to be doing better or where am I lacking. In the 3rd hour of church sort of half listening through a Bicol lesson on the temple I got teary and felt the spirit. I had this thought "you are living your dream". BAM! the Spirit strikes again! I reflected on that sentence in my brain, I am living my dream. I am living in it. Yes, I really am. This is the dream I've had when I imagined myself as a missionary, and the dream that I will have to reflect on for the rest of forever. I know that time is going to be gone before I know it cause i don't even have time to think straight, and so the prompting to soak it all in, live the dream, came to me. I'm going to slow down, notice all the little good, and try and enjoy every last bit of this thing called a mission that is going to turn into just memories soon. I don't want it to end, I don't want to wake up, so I'm just going to keep dreaming the next 3 months and giving it my all. This week I hit 15 months....maybe the hardest 15 months put together I've ever experienced, and its ironic that I have this much love for something this hard. Ironic that I call it a dream when at times it is so hard and dark like a nightmare. I can't even total up the growth I've made these past 15 months and am just so humbled and grateful to be where I am.

Thanks for the prayers, I am fine once again don't worry about my foot its in good working order! Fine as can be. It's week 6, idk if sis b is getting transferred or not or whats happening to my sisters. Anyways family I love you so so much and you are always in my prayers.

LOVE SIS MCGRATH

the winds and the waves shall obey thy will..............

Dang it I have spent all my time emailing President. There's been a lot to report! This week was so busy- we had 2 exchanges and have been traveling and guiding and listening and helping and the lack of sleep is ever so evident on my face!!! eeeeeeehhhh!!!!

This week has also had a way of sending all the trials it could at one time....that's so funny how that happens, its never just one challenge at a time but usually multiple punches. I don't have time to update you on all of them, but this week has brought me to my knees more than ever. Every single day this week i have said a teary prayer pleading to give me the strength to open my eyes and make it though the next hour. It is such a miracle when I hit the cot way after I should have been sleeping and just close my eyes and thank the Lord that I survived the day. After some mild problems with the comp, the ward, and other missionaries, I can say I'm making my way through slowly but surely!

This week I split with 4 sisters, it was the best!! I can't write everything ahh it kills me! Sis P is the sweetest thing and so positive and brave! she is amazing! Sis N is incredible as well and I just wish I could have her parents tune in and see the incredible things their daughter does every day. They would be so proud. Sis P is the sweetest purest heart and has incredible patience. And finally Sis H- this is her 2nd transfer in the mish and she has been having the hardest time imaginable. In our evaluation after exchanges, we ended up staying and talking for more than an hour and went to bed way past 12. As she told me everything thats going on and all of the hard things she's going through, she broke down and cried. For more than an hour she cried and I just stayed by her side with and arm around her and listened. She said that last week she was about to give up, as in totally quit and go home, but then at our zone conference (president shared to us "becoming a consecrated missionary" talk by tad r callister, its a life changer and i highly highly recommend it to all missionaries) she felt like that isn't what God wanted. As she cried the Spirit was so strong in me and I felt lifted beyond myself. I told her lots and lots of things that I know didn't come from me directly, I felt such a strong love for her and told her how much Heavenly Father needs her here. Lots more was said, tears were shed from both of us, and I said a very fervent prayer for her at the end of our talk. At the end she said thank you, "I feel like I just got to talk to my mom". Her comment struck me and the gratitude and love I had for her filled my whole soul and took away every ache and weary pain in my poor tired self. This week was so tiring but I'd hands down do it all again just to hear those words and have the Spirit speak through me again. keep my sisters in your prayers!!!

After feeling like I've been whipped around all over the place this week and been through a crazy storm, I remember what a strong feeling of peace I had when I woke up on Sunday morning. Actually this week it has been a literal crazy storm, its been raining so hard and so windy (i even broke out the cardigan people :O) and on Saturday night after mine and Sis H's long talk I said what felt like an even longer prayer. There are so many things i need to pray for!  I need so much help and others to too! I prayed it out on sore knees and also thanked Heavenly Father for Jesus Christ. As I prayed I thought about His atonement, and the chance I had to partake of the sacrament the next day. My eyes swelled with tears all over again for gratitude and love for my Savior. I can't explain it all well enough in a dinky email.

When I woke up on Sunday morning I just laid there and it was calm. It had stopped raining like it had been all night, and it was quiet. I was the first one up, and I just had peace spoken deep to my bones. I felt that what I was doing was good, and it was enough, and I imagined Jesus smiling down on me. I know its so simple, but that picture in my head and feeling I can't describe. It was a very peter-like moment hearing "wherefore didst thou doubt?" I felt lifted up, back on the boat, and filled with peace. I know that God gives me strength to do this work and that I need it every hour of every day. I know He loves His children, I know He loves Sis P and Sis H and Sis N and Sis P and Sis B and me. I know He loves me. I am so grateful that I can use the atonement every day, and even though the days are so hard, they string together to make the most beautiful thing I could ever obtain.

That's all I can write this week, I wish I could have another hour to pour out even more to you. Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray for me and for all the other missionaries because so many are struggling and having such a hard time.

Love SIS MCGRATH

I CAN'T I JUST CAN'T. This is the son of that monster Sis N and 

I burned....I call him Montoya Jr because of his never-ending 

revenge towards the murderers of his father...ahem ahem US. 

The Best Busy Life Ever!

.........and the whale breeches for air once again!!!!

WHOOW. the days are so. exhausting. its putting me through the wringer. (i wish we had a "wringer" instead of our hands...that would really be useful) i honestly dont know what my body is still running on but its gotta be prayers and love cause no amount of rice could even keep me going! its the best feeling in all the WORLD!!!! ohhhh i love love love working. GO GO GO!!!!

alright let me break you down a beat- this week we were going to teach and got punted but this other lady was just looking like she wanted to be oym-ed (ha ha everyone looks like they want to be oymed in my eyes) and we ended up getting to talk to her on her floor. she told us right up front that she does NOT want to be baptized and will not leave her church, again and again. ok, got it. then she opened up to us about all of her problems in life and most of them coming from her marriage....so sad :( she has the most rotten relationship with her husband it made me feel so bad for this poor lady :( after about an hour of letting everything go to us, the ball was in our court. uhhhh. how does one even begin to respond? i've got no professional training in counseling or anything....i was really wishing the section "the gospel blesses families" section in PMG was more than one wimpy paragraph. but alas, thats not my job, i don't have to fix everything. even though she couldn't leave her church and wasn't interested, she's still a child of God going through a hard time. The Spirit told me to share a verse and we did our best to lift and comfort her. life deals such a hard lot to so many it makes me cry almost every other night if i think about it :(

shes serving in cauaian mission!! she used to work with 

us in goa 2 and now she just got her mish call!

MY FIRST EXCHANGES!!!!! oh ya!!!!! so so much good!! i love exchanges!! so since i'm the only STL and there are 2 sisters in a companionship, i split with the senior in the morning and the junior in the afternoon/night work then have a separate evaluation with each of them afterwards. my first was with sister b, the sweetest sister ever in the batch right before me. she's kiribati!!! i love kiribati missionaries!!!! we had such a good time. we went to the market and bought and fried fish for lunch like true ppinas. #marunog.

In the afternoon i worked with sister moreno who is a visa waiter, truly heading to san diego california!!! home of the district!!! and you'll never believe.......as we were sitting on the stools teaching someone the travel agency called her and she had to excuse herself (ok the weirdest feeling in the world is to teach alone....like...it is so not meant to be... it was the awkwardest feeling as i finished the lesson alone and kept on teaching with no comp......don't try it!!!!) anyways she is leaving THIS TUESDAY for cali! this was her last exchange in the ppines!!! and the coolest part of it was that she is the great great granddaughter of MY first stls i exchanged with sis rosenberg!! (sis rosenberg trained sis prestosa who trained sis baird who trained sis moreno who i exchanged with. guess i'm old in the mission huh? exchanging with the great granddaughter of my first stl)

The best part by far was evaluations afterwards. i got to tell sis m how amazing she is and what a wonderful impact she is going to make in cali. and i told her all about the wonders of target and told her to enjoy it for me. i so want to go find her and visit her when i get home! when i talked with sis b, i could just tell she was about to erupt. she did, and we just sat on the bedside and she cried and cried. she is feeling so inadequate, and with the sudden news of sis m leaving she's got the whole area in her hands and has only been there 4 weeks, and i'm sure lots of other discouraging thoughts. she cried and i just gave her tissues and told her its all going to be fine and gave her my testimony that she can do it and she is needed and all other things that the Spirit told me to say. oh i love talking to sisters and i love being able to help them in a very real way! missionary work isn't just about lifting those outside but even those right by your side!

look at this animal i found. hinawakan ko sya :D

this week has been so so busy, we have been working so hard! guess what we reached 40 oyms! not just lame oyms, every one was real legit and consisted of us teaching a gospel principle and asking an inspired question etc etc! i love to oym! even when i don't and i'm not in the mood i swallow my pride and jump again "Hi i'm sister mcgrath from the church of.............." and start again. i don't want any opportunities pass me by.

HAAAALELUIAAAAA

look at this palayan. feast your eyes.

this week i had such a beautiful testimony that this is MY mission, that i am called here, now, for a reason. we were just walking and exploring trying to find a referral, and we were climbing over rocks and crossing a bamboo bridge skinnier than my arm and there were rice terraces and blue sky and mountains so clear right before us. there were ducks and dogs and my feet hit nothing but damp dirt the good Lord made all day. we passed by tiny homes and kids and people yell out stuff at me but i don't even care, it doesn't even hit me that they are talking to me when they say american or white person or whatever.....i don't know what you guys are looking at i'm ppina. i just felt like i belonged there in that scene so much and feel like this place is what i've always dreamed my mission would be. there's nothing to hold me back, i can just be fearless and soar and approach anyone and sit down and tell them our purpose and that God has a plan for them and all of these other wonderful truths. AHH I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! life is the sweetest thing, it's so simple and so beautiful. and there is so much work to do! so much gospel that needs hearing! every ear! its the best work in all the world and i treasure this time so much. i love this place.

love it here.

General Conference was so amazing. i'm not going to give you my comprehensive chicken scratches on it though....you know how missionaries are....we need it more than air.....i was on the edge of my seat all conference and eating it up! too bad some elders were missing out dozing off behind us.....too bad. i had 3 questions before and all of them were answered perfectly. its just so amazing! i can't wait for the liahona!

I love you all so much and am so grateful for the prayers and love! keep it comin please i need the strength to keep me going from day to day until there are no more days in this mission!

Love SIS MCGRATH

did i tell you the green is a different hue here?

coming up for air!

WHOOW and i EMERGE from the rice fields again for another report! WHoow! coming up for air!!! this area is so insanely busy and i am so so grateful to have my back and feet aching :) its such a good life. alright this week seems like an eternity long so lets hash this thing up:

MISSION LEADERSHIP COUNCIL: ooh ya baby. I'm playing with the big boys now! I get my own spot in the mlc and it's awesome :D except for the fact that i was LATE once AGAIN.....I'm eternally destined to be late when I'm the chorister and when president is present!  This is the 4th time I have been chorister AND been late and had to have an emergency replacement all while president was there....why. Seriously I CANT be on time when I'm chorister. It's amazing president has any ounce of trust in me and doesn't think that I'm just late for every appointment and study ever. I promise its only when I'm chorister..... anyways mlc turns out to just be a lot of graphs and charts and numbers and elders talking lows and highs and goals......but the discussion was cool and the talk by president about having the courage to correct other missionaries was sweet. can't wait for the next one!

TEACH IT TEACH IT TEACH IT REAL GOOD: yep its go go go teach teach teach. I still don't know quite how to summarize my days in my journal let alone here...basta we are just teaching and working out things like MARRIAGE cause no one in the world thinks it's a good use of money to get legally married to the father of your children when there's holes in your roof and all other sorts of hadlangs (blocks? barriers? whats hadlang in english?!) from baptism. I'm just so happy to teach! yipeeee!!! we got to teach 10 lessons in one day!!! no way!!! I just can't wait to go outside every morning.

DREAMS: my dreams have been vivid as ever. one morning i woke up 6:25, saw i had 5 more mins and went back to bed only to tell everyone in my dream "babasahin nyo po ba ang aklat ni mormon? ipagdarasal nyo sya para malaman kung totoo ang lahat na bla blah blahhhhhh" just committing them to read the book of mormon and pray about it and inviting them to church and every other commitment......until when I rolled over at 6:30 I started my prayer asking to help them keep their commitments and read and ....wait these aren't even real investigators......I apologized and started my prayer over again. haha its just 24/7 FOLKS even my dreams I cant stop. Its been like that all week, teaching committing helping LAHAT in my dreams.

REALITY: then I wake up from my dreams and make it real. This week I was so inspired by our mlc and other stuff I read in the scriptures that I've been on OYM FIRE!!! open yo' mouth!!!! Seriously I've just been raising my voice above trycee motors to try and pipe out that their family can be together forever and can we come share and going up to groups of people and stopping nanays on the street and just telling the WORLD that they need this. Whatever to what anyone thinks of me, at least I know Jesus is smiling!

Also I guess in the reality section is the part of my life where I met the most terrible spider straight from impernio. But I wasn't even the one who screamed the loudest! And instead came up with the best plan ever to burn it with flames hotter than the ones from hell where he came. Me and Sis Nelson doused it in bleach then lit it on fire. Pictures ensued. I am just really so proud of myself for overcoming my fear and for slaying the beast. Here I attached a picture: isn't this the BIGGEST THING YOUVE EVER SEEN!?!?! HE EVEN HAS RED EYE PROBLEMS WITH FLASH HE'S THAT BIG!!!!  can't get over that we breathe the same air.

ITS HEAVEN!!!!: Ok this was by far the sweetest part of my week. Oh I could just cry all over again! We went to church yesterday and ward 2 was getting out and we were just starting....I got to see all of my wardiesss!!!!! all of my beloved ward 2!!!!! It was seriously the greatest thing!!! One sister would come out followed by another and another and all of these familiar faces and I just hugged them all! ESPECIALLY the youth!!!! I saw sister loleth!!! I saw francia!!! I saw these people I've walked and sacrificed for there at church!!! I saw soon to be Sister Baer who was using my bag I gave her from my first area and she ran up and told me she gets her mission call next week!!! I saw so so many faces!!! But the best of all : dun dun dun duuuuuN!!!!!! Sister Mayan comes out and exclaims "sisteeerrrr!!!' as she comes to me holding her son.  She runs up and tells me that she and her husband are getting SEALED IN THE TEMPLE this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My eyes swelled with tears and I couldn't take it anymore--i just let it flow!! I hugged sister and told her how excited and happy I was for her!! I remember challenging her to make the temple a goal and gave her a picture of the manila temple, I remember it seemed so far away back then and so much that they needed to do before.....and now here they were! She and her husband and they were doing it!!! I taught this lady once or twice a week and just love her so much. Their oldest daughter walked out from their house and drowned in this huge canal when she was 3 yrs old :( I just remember sister telling us through tears how badly she wanted to be sealed as a family, to her baby girl and to her two other babies here on earth and her husband. The tears just kept flowing, Sister Mayan was crying too. We were just so happy!!!! This has GOT to be what heaven feels like!!! I asked about how her sister in law was doing that lives near by and that we also challenged to go to the temple and pay tithing and stuff... sad news, she's not doing good :( hasn't been to church in a long time and her husband has word of wisdom problems again :( that brought fresh tears all over again, these ones now of sorrow :( it hurts! its gotta hurt so bad when we get to heaven someday and realize that some aren't there. But it is still so joyful to see the ones who will be. Oh it is just the sweetest experience to go back...someday I hope I can come back again over mountain or plain or sea and fly here to see all my people again!

Ok thats a summary of the week- more stuff I left out I wish I could just copy and paste my memories here!!! If only it was that easy!! basta! have a great week to you all and I'm so grateful for your prayers and love and support. I love you!!

mahal kita,
sis mcgrath