The End

I've been staring at this blank message box for a long time now. type. type. type, self.

I'm coming home.

It's so surreal and I cant believe it's actually happening. The secretary called to tell me the luggage requirements and check if sky harbor is my airport. My eyes tear up when I think about saying goodbyes. I can't imagine myself taking off my name tag, I don't even know who Chloe is anymore. My brain doesn't turn off at night and I wake up before the chickens and just stare at the ceiling thinking. This past week I got punched with triple sickness- super bad headache and swollen tonsils and stuff but I just can't stop. the idea of letting time go by just resting when there is only so little time left just makes me more sick, so its been work work work pa rin :) I'm feeling ok now, don't worry about me or tell me to rest because I'm simply not going to until I am officially released. I want to work more than anything and am going to make the most out of my 7 days remaining.

Despite being so tired, this past week has been one of the best. Sister Adino and I are so so happy! I don't know if I write much about that but we are, everywhere we walk we are laughing and smiling and we find so much joy in our journey. When we come back at night we just crack up and talk about all the funny things and people and things they say and just everything. I don't know if I've ever felt happier. The work is SO good and there is so much happiness in the everyday. I am so proud of Sister Adino and the missionary she's become these past 2 transfers. Her training is finishing and she's amazing. She is so prepared, so humble, and honestly one of the best missionaries I've ever met. it breaks my heart to think about saying goodbye to her, one of my bestest friends! AH CRUEL GOODBYES!!

Ok best best best thing ever: SISTER JANE BETITO IS GETTING BAPTIZED THIS SATURDAY THE 23 (my exact 18 month date) alright flash back with me to Naga. Do you remember Sister Jane??? do ya? do ya? Her husband was our recent convert and we would work with her and teach her every week. I have prayed and fasted so many times for her and I can't believe its actually happening, the day is here and real that she's finally ready to be baptized. Sister Reeder called in the middle of our work this week to tell me she's getting baptized, just cause she knows how much I love Jane and how emotionally invested I am in her story :) I cried and jumped up and down. SO happy for them! I asked if I could come to Naga PLEASE to attend, but President heard in the background and said hindi pwede :( but he said I can stop by their house before I leave on the plane :D :D so amazing to have played a small part in her journey and I'm so honored to have served her.

What else to say. This is probably my last email, last update. This is your last portal into my life. Last portal to the ppines. I'm going to miss writing, miss sharing experiences and miracles and everything with you guys. Now I just want to say something to all of you who read my letters on my blog. I'm so glad that you've been able to read along and see a tiny bit of what I see. I hope that my words have helped you in some way. I thank you for the prayers for me and our investigators and all the people I love. Its been so encouraging to think that so many people back home are praying me on. I have been very honest in my letters, writing the good the bad and the ugly every week. I have opened up things in my letters that I wouldn't normally bring up if we were talking in person. To be honest I don't even personally know you all that well. So please, forgive me if we see each other in real life and you feel like you know me so well but I don't feel the same. I bet you are all wonderful people and I will love you so much, but its gonna be a little weird for me who's used to going through life with no one to guide me but the Lord. Everyone is welcome to my homecoming if you'd like to come, but to be honest I have no idea how to summarize the past 18 months or what to share. I'll try and think of something worth your time on the plane ride home but don't expect much ha :D

I love love love love love love love you all and I love love love love love this work and my people and my companion and my kabahays and the ppines and being a missionary here. I love the Lord and am so grateful he has been leading the way ahead of me this whole time. I am so humbled to have gotten the chance to serve. I love Heavenly Father and will do anything for him. I love you all too and will see you soon.

Love sister mcgrath

Two baptisms and a fried chicken to go please

This week we've hardly had time to work :( We had MLC on Tuesday, then Sis Adino's fever got worse and worse leaving her exhausted all week and eventually we had to go back to Naga on Saturday. Then I split with Sister Padilla earlier today to go back to Naga once again to remove her wisdom teeth :D (get it, its a smiley face with no teeth  ha ha  ....) Then Sis Koluse got sick as well, and both Laganoy companionships. We're falling apart! except me, I'm feelin' fine other than exhaustion. But I keep waking up early and can't go back to sleep, I think its subconscious thoughts about the future. Long story short- this week our numbers were way low and I just wished we could go out cause I'm all go go go, but playing nurse is good too. Do not run faster than you have strength daw. moving on...

So at MLC we set the new standards of excellence. President left all of us leaders and said to openly discuss every key indicator and come to a conclusion. We talked for about 3 hours, debated lots of stuff, heard lots of people out, then came up with it. Almost every indicator we raised including oym. It's honestly very high but is something that if we stretch we can achieve. President came back in, asked each of us one by one if we sustain it as the new standard, but one of us didn't. He thought the baptism goal per month was too high and out of our potential, so we went back to discussion. It was really cool to see people's testimonies come out, especially of the new missionaries. they are so much more prepared and are capable of so much. We came to the conclusion that the new standard would be virtually impossible without an increase in faith and obedience. On Friday we delivered it to the zone (its all about the delivery cause if they don't catch on to our vision we just wasted our time).  I was given time at the end to commit them all to it and did my best to stand up there and motivate them and testify that we can do it with the Lord's help. I know our potential is brighter than the level we are at right now in Naga mission, and an extra push on faith and obedience will be what we need to break through. I committed them all to join me in a zone fast yesterday. everyone in our zone fasted for a miracle. Think of all the miracles that are going to happen! The future is so bright! people ARE out there! we can do things beyond our own ability with the help of the Savior. I'm so excited for the progress thats going to happen in each area and just wish I was here longer to see it.

This Saturday was the long awaited baptism of Renan Jr and Joshua Taghoy :) :) :) I think it was my favorite baptism I've ever been a part of. Alright lets back up. So last week, Brother Renan Sr (the father) told us that he didn't think he was going to make it to their baptism because he has work.  And he can't just miss a day of work or they won't eat.  And if he was the baptizer, he would be wet and might get sick afterwards working construction which would just set him back even more days. We sadly accepted it, cause there's nothing we could do if thats the way it was going to be. We were so disappointed, cause it would be so amazing for him to baptize his own kids, be in white with them in the waters of baptism. 

The Taghoy family

So Saturday came, and it was like 15 mins past when they said they would be there. Then 20. We got worried thinking they forgot. We rode a padyak to their home then saw ALL of them walking up the hill towards the church, even tatay!!!!! He was coming! We turned around and greeted them at the church, and asked one more time if tatay would baptize his kids. He agreed, but was so nervous. It was his first time exercising the priesthood in an ordinance and was scared he'd mess up. Bishop was amazing (as usual) and walked him through it all. Brother Cedes leaned over the font and whispered the words to him. He got it right after a couple times and Renan Jr and Joshua Tagoy are the newest members of Goa 1st ward!!! I got teary eyed looking at them in the baptismal font, thinking of their sacrifice it has taken to get here as a family. It's amazing the faith that this father has, literally putting God's will before his own and not knowing how things are going to work out.


After the simple baptism people were going home, we said goodbyes. Sis Adino and I were walking home but we just felt like we couldn't.  Instead we went and bought a whole fried chicken and rice and turned around to visit the Taghoy family. When we got to their home, the kids were going to bed, tatay was rocking their baby in the hammock, and they had no dinner or anything to eat. I wish I could describe the joy on those kids faces when they saw the fried chicken :) They jumped all over us and were screaming and jumping all around from excitement (fried chicken is every kid's wildest dream) and all sat on the floor and ate. Sister Cynthia and Brother Renan could almost cry and were so grateful. I got teary eyed too with how much I love this family. They're going to be so hard to say goodbye to! We took pictures and said goodnight. God will provide. He will work through His servants to wipe away tears, strengthen and comfort, and feed his hungry children fried chicken. 

That's about all, I'm hoping this week sister Adino and Koluse and Padilla will be feeling better and strong enough to work! I love to be outside and love to know the next chapter of people's stories. It's going to be a great week this week! I love you all very much and am grateful for the prayers for all the missionaries. We need them! We need your faith and help. Back to work for us! Love you!

Sister McGrath 

The beginning of the end.......

Happy new year to all! maligayang bagong taon peeps!

This week has been full of exchanges and lacking in sleep. These were my last set of exchanges, and I am more than happy to sacrifice some shut eye for these sisters I love so much. On Monday night Sister Manoa and Barawidan came to Goa. SIS MANOA!! Oh she is doing so good!! We had so much fun working together again, oym-ing the blazes out of the streets like it was nobody's business! The best thing ever-Sis Balasta emailed me that day from good ol Naga 3rd saying that no other than JULBIE ROSS was baptized that weekend, a sister that sister Manoa and I first found and taught together!!!!!! Sis Manoa and I jumped around and got teary eyed thinking of how wonderful it is we got to be a tiny part in her entry to the church. I don't even care we weren't the ones to baptize her, I'm just so happy for sister Julbie and that she can start to prepare to do the temple work for her children who passed away from brain cancer. <3 <3 AMEN to sweet is the work! Sis Manoa is ever progressing and I am so proud of the missionary she's become. As we talked on the bottom bunk in our evaluations I was overwhelmed with the love I had for this girl who I didn't know's country existed before (please just re-order that in the correct english grammar for me...eh) 

When our exchanges ended on Tuesday we traveled to Laganoy that night, then planned with the other Laganoy sisters for the next day making it a never ending exchange. Something that I have learned so much from is sitting down with each sister privately after the exchange and just talking. I tell them all the good things I saw in them that day that I wrote down on a sticky note, and all of them without fail are so surprised. Sisters really can see the good in everyone but themselves, huh? 

The hardest part is addressing disobedience. I'll spare you the details. After more than 2 days of straight exchange you sure see a lot. It made me wonder if Heavenly Father maybe feels like that, just quietly observing feeling so disappointed when they chose to fall short of exact obedience and feeling so much joy when they choose to do whats right. Agency is a killer. Nobody likes to be the bad cop, including me, but I've got no choice. Standing up for what's right is hard especially when you fear offending someone or losing friendship, but I've already chosen who I'm loyal to. I said things that were hard to say, but in the end we hugged it out.

After sitting with all the sisters one by one, hearing things and having them open up things only to me, I was exhausted. When we traveled home early Thursday morning we got home and I just felt so heavy. I went alone to the bedroom and fell on my knees. I felt so alone in my calling. They only open up to me and its hard to feel like there is no one to talk to. I prayed for help to apply the atonement, to ease the burden I felt. I prayed for each sister one by one, despite their weaknesses they all have so much potential and I have so much hope for who they can become. I know that I am right there with them, just a weak natural man very far from reaching the status of saint. I am in awe that Heavenly Father can look down on me, in all of my lowly state, and see the potential inside of me to do great things. It's such a blessing to help others use the power of the atonement while simultaneously be strengthened by that same power. Lots more lessons learned but thats all I'll write.

us at sister kharines house! thats brother gary on the side!!

So its 2016. my 365 days of straight missionary service have come to an end. 2015 has been THE year. We had curfew on New Years Eve and so I washed clothes and washed some more until my back was dead and I passed out onto the mattress on our floor. I heard random fireworks and horns and stuff and took some time to think about myself, a selfish act that never happens on the Lord's service. I stared at the ceiling, thinking back to the person I was in January, then in February, through all of the months. Who knew I was capable of all of this?? I am a such a changed person than I was last January. Every challenge that has come this year has seemed like just a little too much than I can handle, but with the Lords help I have. Every additional responsibility, next level, somehow I've made it through it all. Heavenly Father has stretched me little by little, step by step, out of my comfort zone. (I've never seemed to stay there for long). And when I got to January 2016, thinking about the next giant leap i'll be taking out of my comfort zone back to my old comfort zone, I just teared up. I saw what seemed like everyone I've ever met here flash before my eyes, nanays, tatays, companions and akis, investigators, oyms, kids, people people people. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling out the corners of my eyes and awkwardly to my ears (cuz I was laying down) and just felt it all. It cant be real! Was there really a life before this one? I feel like I'm dying in 3 weeks, scared to die but knowing that somehow I'll rise from the ashes. If Heavenly Father has given me the portion I needed everyday so far, I know he'll continue to gently lead me along. Just keep taking steps, keep moving forward, press on press on press on! I have had too many experiences here to deny that God has a plan for me and for everyone in this world. His help doesn't expire when my name tag gets taken off, I know I'll be just fine. It's still a major mourning process though to say goodbye to this life. 3 weeks na lang and I'm living it to its fullest! 

I hope you all had a happy new year, made some new years resolutions, and are full of the hope that new starts bring. I love you all, thank you for ever praying for me! please continue to pray for the other sisters and elders and brother gary and just everyone :) I love you all so much! 

Love Sister McGrath

Bishop Palmis leading the way!!!!

trudging through rice fields to take a special sacrament to an older handicapped man who can't walk. Bishop Palmis is the best!! look at his smile as he leads the way! I love Bishop Palmis!

Oooh I, I guess thats Christmas to me!

We all can jam to Penatonix Christmas, right? That's a great song and it talks about all these traditional Christmas stuffs like fireplaces and what not, things that are not here! But Christmas is still so so so so wonderful and sweet and everything and more!

Christmas in the ppinas! I had the greatest Christmas ever and hope you all did too. The best part was skype! Oh i have missed you all so much! I still cant get over that Matt is NOT faking his voice...I wont believe it till I hear it in person. He sounds like a husky man who eats beef jerky and spits! Ab and Liv have just gotten prettier! Han- haha still in exercise clothes and just finishing a 10 mile bike ride...I guess some people don't change XD

It was so weird looking into a little portal at you guys, sorry if I forgot to talk much I guess I'm not used to responding immediately to you! Ang hirap na palang makarelate sa inyo like what do i say?? haha it went by so fast but it wasnt nearly as hard to hang up as last year cause I just said 4 WEEKS NA LANG!!!!!! ahaha!! It's so close I can taste it! We can talk talk all the days so soon! 



We had Christmas con- it was seriously like a family reunion! its so fun being the oldest in the mission cause I know them all and pretty much just ran around the chapel like a kid on Christmas saying hi and hugging everyone. except the Elders i didn't hug them...just clarifying. it was the BEST! super sad too cause it might be the last time I see a lot of them :( why does the ppinas have to be so far away!! Ok guess what we did our "talent" and it was a hit! I acted out Sis Reeder and as soon as the first line was out of my mouth the crowd went wild. I was eyeing President the whole time worried..but he totally cracked up too :) haha I had it recorded so we can watch it soon. "Don't firget'chur paye-yong!"  Oh I love love love Sis Reeder she is one of my true role models and I hope to be like her someday! We sang too which was pretty embarrassing, but hey, whatcha gunna do? it wasn't perfect but we had fun so bahala na! Everyone had talents, dances and songs and it was so funny! Then we ate and got to watch a mooooooovvvviiiieeee! We watched Johnny lingo which I'm sure I would have rolled my eyes to before, but I was front row, laughing and getting way into it! What a good reminder not to settle for some island schmo and wait for a cow-bringing prince to sail in! Ya I AM worth 8 cows!! ah ha ha! it was a good good day and I think I almost broke my smiling face from all the joy coming out of it. 




Then it was Christmas!!!!!!!! I wish you all could be a part of "Christmas at Bagumbayan Grande" cause it is the happiest and most touching thing ever. Sis Adino and I have been buying fudge bars and candy and tons of junk for the past forever, making a huge stock pile. A couple of weeks ago I asked the kids there what was their wildest wishes for Christmas and they said a green apple and a toothbrush. HAHA!! So we bought a tooon of green apples and more more candy, bagged it all up, and crossed the log bridge almost more excited than we knew the kids were. We started at Sis Elvies house, who hobbled in and actually HUGGED us and said merry christmas!! was shared a Christmas lesson, took pics, and then gave them candy and junk. Their smiles were bigger than the planet earth and they were so so happy with so little. We went to Cynthia and Renans home and kids were popping in all over the place!!!

Oh my gosh I LOVE THOSE KIDS. I love love love love love love Mateo and have to put him in my second suitcase. It made me so happy to give them those green apples and junk and make their wildest dreams come true!!! Sister Cynthia shoved Mateo into some overalls and he ran around all over the place! He jumped in my lap insisting he was going to pray, started it, then realized he had nothing to say :) Haha I helped him out but then it turned into all the kids there saying what I said. "ama sa langit' "AMA SA LANGIT" "nagpapasalamat po kami" "NAGPAPASALAMAT PO KAMI" haha <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


Great news is that things are all set for their baptism January 9!!! Renan Jr and Joshua have come to church and we are reviewing the questions for the bap interview and also preping tatay with how to baptize and what to say.  Jan 9 is going to be one of the happiest days of my life!!!!!!! It makes me tear up when i think about them getting sealed someday. AH!



Brother Gary update- we shared 2ce to him this week, just to keep him close. We text him every day as well.  But no matter what we do of course this is still a time of mourning. Especially with Christmas. In both times when we asked how he was doing, he didn't immediately respond, and his eyes got a painful look, and I just can't help but cry. I can't stop the tears when I look at him and think about what he's going through. We asked him how he felt when he stood and bore his testimony to his hard hearted family. He said he didn't know, he wished his point got across to them and felt like they didn't listen. I told him that seeing him stand there, that picture in my mind, is one of the most powerful testimonies I've ever heard. I wish you could have seen him, he was incredible! He said that this past week he just finds himself looking far off thinking about his mom, like all the time.  At his house its a compound of his family, and they all are having a huge reunion right now. As we shared to him Saturday morning all his uncles and other shirtless men were drinking and being super loud right outside. Cousins were coming in and out, and we just sat on the couches crying with Gary. He said Christmas night he was feeling so sad and his family was all being so loud, and so he just went outside behind their house and prayed. I told him that so many people back home were praying for him too, and he says thank you. please please keep him in your prayers always!



Sad news too- Sister Jane is moving to Naga!! nooo!!! she got work in a house washing clothes and watching kids and leaves this January. It's so sad, she was all set to be baptized at the end of January too. She's our 17 yr old investigator with the baby, and its super super sad for her too cause she only will come home once a month to see her baby.  We gave her a skirt for Christmas and she came to church with baby and all those neighbor kids again. I'm really going to miss her and hope someday she gets baptized. 

Update on Sis Kharine! Her house is 1/2 torn down and all they need is materials for the last wall! YAY! As soon as her husband fixes his truck, he can start hauling rocks, earning money again, and they can pay off all their debts and start saving for the cenomar. its pretty much all out of our hands but we are patiently encouraging her and she has such strong faith that isn't lessened at all by her circumstances. I might not get to attend her baptism but I don't even care, I'm just so happy for all the changes the gospel has made in her life and for seeing her come back to life again. She is so amazing, I love her! 



On Christmas day we visited nanay L who was super irritated. Haha she just woke up (like 3:30pm) and was grumbling and very sassy. We sat and ate jackfruit and listened to her tell us what a rotten Chrismtas she was having. Hahaha she said that she doesn't want to go outside her house, go to centro or anything at Christmas time cause she'll just get jealous seeing people buy stuff and eat stuff, so she just was going to sleep through it cause shes "puuur" haha :D by the end she was in a good mood, we gave her a tiny Christmas card and then she ran and put on lipstick and powder and insisted we take pictures. we got on her padjack and selfied it up! she told me to print the one of us two super big, frame it, and put it on a table in my house with a tablecloth when I get home so when I pass by it I will remember her and maybe think to send her money HAHA!! NAY!! love na LOVE ko sya! ina ko!



In the night we had curfew, so were in around 6. I cleaned the whole place, placed my Christmas cards to my comp and kabahays on their desks, then set up the most MAGICAL winter wonderland ever! I threw all the mattresses on the floor in our room, set up Christmas lights, then set all our emergency candles a flame! We all gathered around, read Luke 2, and sang all the Christmas songs in the book. Then we went around and said what we were grateful for. I got teary eyed for the millionth time this week and couldn't stop with things I was grateful for. i feel like the most blessed soul in all the land to have spent Christmas with my beloved friends, companion, and people we teach. best Christmas ever! 



As usual, lots more happened that I can't write, forgive me! I hope Christmas was merry and bright for all of you too! I love you so much family, it really would be perfect if only you were here. but time is flying, I can't believe its going to be 2016. I can't believe I can count the weekly planning sessions on one hand. That theres only one more Fast Sunday. We are working SO hard, can't stop wont stop. This is it. I'm trying to go as far as I can and then farther, oym the daylights out of Goa, and keep loving and serving like Christ would. I am so grateful for this mission. 


Love SISTER MCGRATH