Is THAT the title of the week or what. This week was.....it was really rough. Our area is super struggling. We have such a slim pool of investigators and they don't progress, we drop so many more than we keep. I definitely felt some all-time mission lows this week. It's so hard! so so hard! ah man! Sis. G and I both want to transfer outta here so bad, this area's so tough because its centro (aka busy middle class people) and its very small. I think I've tried just about every home in the entire area now :( We feel like we need to close this area its getting that bad :(
We just have felt a lot of discouragement this week, but I've also felt very close to my Savior. I feel so, I don't know how to describe. I feel so sad for the area and for all the people that don't want to hear us but I still feel like I'm being a good missionary and doing my best. It's hard to separate the bond in your mind between the people's spiritual status equaling your own success as a missionary. I had to remind myself a lot this week that all we can do is invite and that no effort is wasted.
I turned a lot this week to the scriptures for help to persevere and for comfort. I read about Abinadi and how he saw no fruits of his work but how incredible the influence he made on thousands and thousands in years to come. I read in D&C back when the church was only a handful of people. I thought about how hard it must have been for Joseph Smith to be the only one believing his story for such a long time. I read Job, I read about Alma and Amulek, I read and read and read. I know that this whole mission is not about what I want at all. I know that even though I would like to see the fruits of my labors, even just one, Heavenly Father thinks I will learn more from planting. plant plant plant all the seeds! yay!
Its been really rough to keep some of that hope and faith. We had a special fast for our area yesterday. I'm not depressed, or discouraged, but I don't know how to describe it. I know that there ARE people who will accept us, we just have to find them. Even though I think we've tried them all. I know there is hope! We are doing creative finding ideas to help, this week we printed off 100 flyer invitations just to come to sacrament meeting. We gave out over 50 of them and invited them all to church :) Well even though we heard 50 yeses, 0 actually came through. Its all right, its all right. invite invite invite don't get discouraged.
We had a really hard break up this week too with one of our investigators. Last night :'( Oh it was so so sad! I cried so hard! We had to break up with Baby Jun because even though he is done with all the lessons he just isn't willing to leave his religion and also his wife doesn't want him to and he doesn't want to fight, anyway there were a lot of reasons why we had to stop but that didn't make it any easier to leave. We went and brought the Tagalog hymn book, sang him songs and read some scriptures, then broke the news that this would be our last visit. He was so sad but thanked us sincerely for all of our visits. My eyes swelled with tears as he told us that we are all brothers and sisters and will see each other again in heaven. I said hopefully and really meant it. We sang I Stand all Amazed but I was so choked up I could hardly get the tune out. We asked him to say the closing prayer and he cried in it which just made us cry even harder. I KNOW that he knows this is the truth.
KNOW he has felt the Spirit in his home when we teach because I have undeniably felt it. I know that someday he will find his answer because he is diligent and searches the Bible and prays and now he has the Book of Mormon too. I love this man so so much. I love him as if he's my own brother and it hurts so bad to see him not accept the complete gospel. When I look at him I can see his potential and it hurts that he doesn't use his agency to reach it. Ah brother Jun! I want to force him to drink so bad but he's but a horse and I'm but a leader-to-the-water. I asked if we could take a picture for remembrance before we left and I tried to suck in all my tears. He really is one of my most favorite people I've ever met on my mission!
Anyways, this week was just hard, good but hard. tears and lots of battling discouragement, but also feeling so uplifted and carried. Missions are so crazy. as for now my prayers are more than ever pouring out my soul for help, to find people, to teach with the spirit, to help others home to Heavenly Father. I pray for the strength to handle this area and to have faith and hope. Please pray for me too. I hope this whole email doesn't sound too depressed! yikes! I know that with new levels of lows I am just being able to reach new levels of highs.
 |
me and a champion fighter rooster
|
We just have felt a lot of discouragement this week, but I've also felt very close to my Savior. I feel so, I don't know how to describe. I feel so sad for the area and for all the people that don't want to hear us but I still feel like I'm being a good missionary and doing my best. It's hard to separate the bond in your mind between the people's spiritual status equaling your own success as a missionary. I had to remind myself a lot this week that all we can do is invite and that no effort is wasted.
 |
rockin the 90's khaki llbean skirt and tote bag :)
the rooster didn't want to pose for our
engagement pic >:O |
Its been really rough to keep some of that hope and faith. We had a special fast for our area yesterday. I'm not depressed, or discouraged, but I don't know how to describe it. I know that there ARE people who will accept us, we just have to find them. Even though I think we've tried them all. I know there is hope! We are doing creative finding ideas to help, this week we printed off 100 flyer invitations just to come to sacrament meeting. We gave out over 50 of them and invited them all to church :) Well even though we heard 50 yeses, 0 actually came through. Its all right, its all right. invite invite invite don't get discouraged.
 |
jun :"""""""""""""""""""""""(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
mami miss kita baby jun!
|
As we packed up our things to leave I cried and cried and my throat was tight and I couldn't say all I felt. He thanked us again and again and as we walked out into the night I couldn't take it. I cried long and hard. It really felt worse than leaving you guys when I walked to the plane. I know that I will see you again but I don't have the guarantee I will see brother Jun again! We walked down the street and my face was all twisted and tears rolling down, all the people just stared and for once did me the honor of not calling out "sister!!" or "americana!", i think i shocked them all. Anyways, i still am going to pray for him and hope with everything that he will accept it one day. i love brother jun!
Anyways, this week was just hard, good but hard. tears and lots of battling discouragement, but also feeling so uplifted and carried. Missions are so crazy. as for now my prayers are more than ever pouring out my soul for help, to find people, to teach with the spirit, to help others home to Heavenly Father. I pray for the strength to handle this area and to have faith and hope. Please pray for me too. I hope this whole email doesn't sound too depressed! yikes! I know that with new levels of lows I am just being able to reach new levels of highs. |
dish duty :)
|
I love my mission so much! i love it love it love it! I love the ppines, I love the people here with all my heart! I love the kids! I sent some pics of some of them- feast your eyes on their cuteness! ah man, sometimes they really are like little angels to cheer me up. (other times i'm so annoyed at them touching my white skin and calling out stupid things to me. twerps.)
hmm what else is great this week- i don't want to sound all lows with no highs! hm what else. oh so awkward- I thought I saw a less active walking down the street, so I hid behind a parked tricey to pop out and surprise her and say hi (cause she's such a sour puss and I wanted to cheer her up) and so I did "HI SISTerrr ohhhh....: and YUP it wasn't her. Just a stranger. people definitely stared. ohh man it was embarrassing. Oh well, I should just pretend that everyone is my best friend I haven't seen in forever anyways and go dish them up some gospel. hmm maybe its a good finding idea we will try this week :)
I can't think of any more, basta, maswerte ako to be here talaga. enduuuuureeee! enduring doesn't have to be sad, let's make it glad!! Ok ok. thats all I got. I love you SO much. Thank you mom and dad for everything! Thank you for all of your prayers I love you so so incredibly much!
LOVE sister mcgrath
 |
the csp we had this week, we hoed a garden and thrusted in our sickles with
all our might (haaa how lame all my jokes have turned into scripture jokes)
|
 |
baby timmmee! the new born of our investigator! (who did not
want to be pictured...i don't blame her) anyway she had him
right there where we were sitting yikes
|
 |
i love this man:(
|
No comments:
Post a Comment